LATE IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

My personal sense of frustration has been mounting. I realized this yesterday morning as I prepared to head into my work place. This current job is making me feel irritated for all the right reasons.

I want to find a new job. That is my number one priority at the moment. I have had enough of the lack of true consideration for the staff. If I could just hand in my resignation and leave-I would do so. That is not a feasible solution to my situation.

Yes, I have been applying for new positions. I have been close but no cigar. I really have to buckle down and work at it.

My classroom is now overcrowded. This is one of the most irritating circumstances that I must work through. I swear, people need to realize that there is a limit to everything. I have come home from work drained and feeling like I have been carrying a 10 ton weight on my back.

That's not how it is supposed to be. I refuse to accept this as the way it should be for me.

Dear God,
I am feeling angry and frustrated at this moment. These are not feelings that are of your making. Nor are they feelings that I can continue to have surging through my mind. I am asking that you regulate my mind on this evening. I am thankful to have a source of income. I know that there are people who are looking for a job and would take my mine gladly.

I am ready to move on to a different setting. I don't want to leave in anger or frustration. I want to go in peace. To a new position that will provide me the outlets of support that I honestly need at this time. I know that you have put a shield around me and kept me protected from all manners of snares and danger. I am thankful for that protection.

I also know that you have kept me moving on the days when I have just wanted to stay at home and not be bothered. I am asking that you bless me to continue moving forward and that doors open up for me to move on.

These blessings I ask in Jesus name,
Amen

THAT'S THE WAY I ALWAYS HEARD IT SHOULD BE BY CARLY SIMON

When I mention that I am divorced, there seems to be this automatic assumption that I am a bitter woman or that I am anti-marriage, since I have not re-married.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I am pro-marriage. I believe that it is still a union that should be made between two people who sincerely believe that they want to spend their days on earth together.

I have not re-married because I have not met a man who makes me feel the need to be with him on a daily basis. I have had proposals that were tempting-but not strong enough to make me want to become a wife again.

On this past Saturday, my oldest son made an important transition in his life. He became a husband. I am pleased with his decision to marry. He has been with my daughter in law for a considerable period of time.

This union adds a another branch onto our family tree. Our story will continue on with a written record of the addition. This is how it should be.

I find this to be very satisfying. Especially since I come from a people that have not always had the advantage of written records to verify their entrance into the world or who their parents were. Even though my maternal family has documentation of its slave roots-those documents are not personal enough to provide us with all the details that we would like to have.

It was a lot of work to put together a small intimate ceremony and celebration. As usual my oldest son waited until the ultimate last minute to announce his plans. He just made his intentions known less than a month ago. Which is how he has operated for as long as I can remember.

I am happy for him and my daughter in law. I hope and pray that they are blessed to have a good relationship as husband and wife.

DEAR ROSA:LABELLE

December 1, 1956 was the day that Mother Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus. This act would give birth to The Montgomery Bus Boycott and usher in The Civil Rights Movement.

Labelle recorded a beautiful musical tribute to Rosa Parks titled "Dear Rosa" Here are a portion of the lyrics
Said i've got something to sayMy dear lady,
Dear Rosa,I want to say what's on my mind
I"m writing you a letter
With love and hope in every line
I try not to think about the pain
But how your sacrifice will reign
Dear Rosa,
Who would believe?
So hot and tired
What made you decide?
That you would rather die
Than just stand so someone else could ride
And prove that lie again
That the color of our skin made us less than other men
Dear Rosa,Sit down servant
Come on in
How long?
Will this hate go on?
Change our lives and now you're gone
Somebody said, and still the cross is burned.
Dear Rosa,
The spirit will yearn.
Sitting down in the front of the bus
You made a stand for all of us
You didn't move when they called you names
You knew that a mind was the hardest thing to change.
Living in a line, your freedom denied,
After Malcolm, Martin and John gave their life.
Dear Rosa,it's so hard not to cry
Dear Rosa,You didn't live to see the day we talked to one another
Regardless of the color of our skin
Or the gods we believed in
When I look around and see people filled with pain
Dear Rosa,How did you keep your faith?
Yes, tell me
How long, will this go on?
You changed our lives
Now your gone away, gone
Somebody says, and still the cross is burned.
Dear Rosa,The spirit will yearn.
Labelle Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com

GIVING THANKS IS 24/7-365

Thanksgiving Day always creates mixed feelings within me. I love to spend time with my family and enjoy a great meal. We attend a service that always refreshes me spiritually because the emphasis on celebrating who we are as a people.

In a society that is known for extremes on many levels-over indulging in eating is not a ritual that I can support. It just does not make sense to me. Eating a great meal and enjoying the company of family and friends is cool. But there are people who don't have enough to eat on a daily basis. I cannot forget that fact. I also know people who are literary eating their selves to death.

True thanks giving is a daily thing. It is not solely centered around a glut of food. People seem to have forgotten that the original foundation for Thanksgiving was about the bounty that came forth from the fields for the year. Given our current economic situation many people's fields have been really lean or barren. There are people who need to realize that giving thanks is beyond the realm of food.

Giving thanks should be a daily practice. An attitude of gratitude can help to keep a stable and balanced feeling within your spirit. There are people that I know who did not pour it on for Thanksgiving and they had a great time with their family and friends.

We need to recognize that giving thanks is not solely about a one day meal. It is about recognizing the blessings that we have received in our lives.

A MOMENT OF PEACE ON THE STREETS

When I am out walking being observant is a natural part of my movement. I like to look all around to see what is familiar and what is different about the area that I am moving through. Being observant is more than using my eyes to provide me with information. I also listen to the sounds in the atmosphere.

One of the most amazing moments is when the absence of sound occurs. Those moments actually happen more often than one might imagine. I am always looking for them as I move along. Within the urban atmosphere that type of moment is reassuring. Why? Because it indicates that peace is always possible in any situation.

I remember the first time I realized that it was peaceful while I was walking. It was quite startling. I was walking along and there had been nothing but a series of loud noises since I left my house. Suddenly there was no cars, no birds or any sound around me. I soaked up that sensation like a sponge. It seemed that it was so unusual for a peaceful moment to just suddenly crop up. Especially in an area that is heavily traveled during the day.

Since the day that I noticed a moment of peace in the urban atmosphere, I tend to keep my ears attuned to the possibility of it happening again. My effort has not gone unrewarded.

THOUGHTS ON BEING UNDER SIEGE

We have all seen the moments on television or over the inter net.
The rage and anger that is pouring out from Black bodies onto Black bodies.
We watch and cringe. Our angst is poured out in posts and commentary on what is wrong and why some of us seem to be crazy.

The blood letting and the pain moves across the screen and we watch.
We watch and we cry out in anger and angst. We rile and rally to take back what? Our safety? Our lost lives? The tears that have fallen to earth? What? I am not sure that we even know any more. We just respond automatically because we know that our silence has help to aid the festering cancer that is now killing us.

Methodically we are being intimidated into believing that we are not responsible for what happens to us. That it is all the fault of anyone except us. We speak this rhetoric as if it the only matter of fact that we understand. When in reality we know that we have failed to communicate with ourselves about ourselves.

What is our worth? Apparently we a low value commodity within our own belief system. Our concept of our selves has distorted within our reality. Leaving us with an image that we are able to decipher within the distortion. A belief that we are still progressing on to higher grounds while in reality we are seeing a part of ourselves spiraling down.

We have preached the sermons. We have screamed, cried, shouted and demanded answers that don't require actions from us. We want the fast food delivery style to hurry up and make things right. Instead of realizing that it didn't go wrong quickly and it damn sure won't be up righted any faster.

What in the hell is really on our minds? We find these stories and we share the horror of urban ghetto life as if it is a piece of chocolate. Instead of a rancid slice of the American pie that is actually being created by us to serve to us.

How many more bodies will be returned to the dust before we can admit that we have to do more than give curbside lip service?

Can we honestly afford to continue what will be the turning point in this killing spree? When we will realize that we have bred serial killers that target us as their victims?

When we start standing up? When we grow angry enough to really put a stop to the murdering sprees that leave us spinning with daggers of pain piercing our hearts?

When will we admit that we are under siege and the fear that we have helped to nurture is killing us?