The Art Of Afro Zen Gardening

THOUGHTS ON A PHOTOGRAPH

2012-01-25T04:44:00.000-08:00

I have been working on my personal black identity lately. The focus of my effort is centered on my personal definition of what type black woman I have evolved into.

This is a continuous process of self revelation and renewed love. A set of mental rituals that remove those notions that do not honest reflect how I think now.

I have an unseen self-image. No mirror can provide the clarity of myself like my minds eye can. In that image I am still flawed but my beauty is visible. Shaded in colors that come from the earth's palate.

There is nothing wrong with the texture of my hair or the shape of my nose, lips, breasts or hips. I am fine just as I am. If you are a true lover of beauty then mine will not be obscured in your sight.

Look at me when I am in my splendor and beautiful is the only way that I can described.

EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE!

2012-01-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

This is the time of the year when the memories of my childhood spring up into my thoughts. I know that these days of my childhood come back to life because I was a child during the Civil Rights Movement.

But it is not just the moments when I watched peaceful protesters being violently attacked on the television screen that come to mind.

I remember what home felt like to me. That sense of comfort and security that comes when a person is loved. That feeling surrounds me like a warm embrace.

Every detail of our home is as clear as a freshly cleansed picture window. The scent of Spic and Span and furniture polish fills my nostrils. I can feel the cool pressed and starched sheets on my bed and the thick quilts that were made by women in my family.

My family is still alive and moving about their daily tasks. The smiles and touches of work seasoned hands still grasp my little girl soft palms.

I can hear the melody of a tune being hummed while something good was being prepared in the kitchen, while I sat on the velvet covered couch watching television.

The madness, the hate, the anger that loomed all around us and struck out like an undetected Cobra in the bush, it was someplace that we were not. At least this is what I felt at that time. Children did not get exposed to the business of adults. Fighting for justice at that point in time was a blood filled encounter that many adults could barely handle. We knew that there was a battle going on and it was definitely dangerous for colored people. The fighting was not occurring on the streets of our hometown and that made it seem like it was someplace far removed from our lives.

After the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church, my whole perspective changed. I understood what fear felt like because it slammed down onto my thoughts like a sudden blow from a hammer. I had never thought about a church not being a safe haven. I never knew that there was a manner of man who was not fearful or respecting of God's houses of worship. I didn't know that children could die because that had not been one of my experiences in life.

That day changed my perspective on who I was as a person. For the first time I fully understood that having a color tone to my complexion made me a target for any racist who wanted to attack. I realized that there was such a hatred for my race that would drive people to kill any one of us--just because we were not like them.

Our home never lost it's full sense of security to me. But I found myself changing on the inside. I felt the seeds of anger being tamped down into my thoughts deep into the recesses of my soul. I tried to resist that sense of wanting to strike back out at anyone who was not like us. At least this is the direction that I believed would be fair and right at that time.

I was not able to nurture those feelings until later in my life time. I lived in a home where the people recognized that love would be the strongest asset during those turbulent times. I can remember my grandmother gently admonishing me "not to hate anyone" because it would only hurt me in the end. It would take years before I full understood the point she was trying to make at that time.

Now when I look at things outside of my window, there is a lot that has diminished over the passage of time. There is a sense of heaviness that is in the air. People are stressed out, angry and always in a hurry to go or arrive. Everyone is either talking or texting while moving about. The music is loud and often intrusive as cars roll down the street. We are seemingly in a state of disconnection with each other and our mutual realities.

While there have been many wonderful changes over the course of time, there are also some changes that never should of happened. We are rapidly evolving into a species that has become jaded and skeptical about everything in our lives. We use to show more concern and willingness to extend ourselves out to others in need. I am not suggesting that this does not happen in our contemporary society. The sense of feeling that comes with that act has a very different feel to senses.

This is what change has brought into our lives.

FOR THE COMMON GOOD:BRINGING LIGHT WHERE IT'S NEEDED!

2012-01-15T12:48:00.001-08:00

I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TOOLS

2012-01-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying the energy of the full moon this week. The ideas and decisions that I had to make have come together and what I can do is much clearer than it was at the end of December. The cycle of questioning and looking for direction has come to a close. The cycle of moving towards the open door has begun.

The resources that I needed to move my job search are now in place. I spent time in the library yesterday looking at resources. I picked up a copy of the book Guerrilla Marketing for Job Hunters 3.0 by Jay Conrad Levinson and David E. Perry. I had no true idea what the contents of the book would cover on the topic of finding a job. Out of all the books that were in the stacks this is the one that stood out in my visual field.

It was definitely the right selection for me. There is a website that provides additional freebies to help with the search. I like what has been presented so far because it is a practical approach. I have listened to all the advice from experts who focus on what the obstacles are in the current job market. Their advice is honest and it is a reality that all job seekers face. The exclusion variables exist for every person who is looking for their next career placement.

There is always a way made through obstacles in life. Even when it appears to other people that those barriers are not moving or making any momentary openings for people to get through. That is the business of the Holy Spirit in my life. Having the physical tools that is recognized among people is the one of the keys to getting the attention of the person who grants entrance. The spirit and the physical have a connection. Doors that are meant to be opened will be obvious by the response that is given to my knock. Either you understand this or you do not.

My view from the hills has shown me how this correlation works. I have asked and now it is time to work on the receiving of my request.

It is time to work with the Holy Spirit's guidance and move on to the next level of living a life up under the sun. I have a vision and what perished from the lack of vision was meant to die. I give thanks for what it brought into my life and for the lessons that I worked through. Each of those moments brought me to this point of realization.

It is time to open up myself to the opportunities that I desire to experience. I feel very positive about this position. This is the mindset that is going to help me to achieve my goals.

I give praise and thanks for what has opened up within my thoughts and spirit. The guidance and direction that I needed has become a rooted plant that has to be tended to by me. I am now ready to take that responsibility because it will yield what I need and desire within my life.

FIRST THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

2012-01-05T02:54:00.000-08:00

Quiet time. The idea of not having any distractions like the television, music or radio on is not appealing to everyone. I find it to be one of my necessities of life.

There should be a moment during the day when a person can just hear their own thoughts and ideas circulating around inside of their being. I find that I need to block out everything else to be able to hear what's on my mind.

Not everyone is comfortable within their own thoughts. I will admit that there are moments when I feel the same way. I believe that we all like to imagine ourselves as people who think positive thoughts. When negativity rises up within us, it sets off a sense of inner panic because those ideas are not productive. At least this is how we have been taught to view them. Negativity has a place within generating positive energy. If you know how to combine those two forces the results can be quite effective. A pearl is created by the irritation of a grain of sand within an oyster. I see negative energy in that same manner. It is a grain of sand that is rubbing my thoughts into pearls.

I find that probing into the negative vein of one's personal ideas to be quite productive. It provides an opportunity to admit that those types of ideas exist. No one thinks positive all of the time. I find that when my negative ideas spring up that is time for me to meet them head on and deal with their content. Not dealing with negativity will not make it go away. It will help to make those feelings gain a level of strength because no action is worse than any action.

It became apparent to me recently that I needed to handle my business in this particular area of thought around my current job search.

I have been trying to steady myself to move away from being in a classroom. I know that I have skills that will translate into other career settings. Being prepared to deal with making a full break has had me teetering mentally. This is not productive because I find that one day I am okay with the idea then I become uncertain.

One of the things that I decided to do was turn off all the advice that is currently available to job seekers. This glut of information can be useful or it can be truly intimidating. There are too many factors that seemingly can work against an individual.

I cannot change who I am in reality. I am mature,female and a person of color. This is my reality. These factors have always been like a circle in my opinion. They can mean something or nothing. It all depends on the person's perception of them. I have to work with what I have to offer.

I also have a good work ethic and I am capable of performing a job on a regular basis. This is true. That is a level of truth that I have stood on for years.

It occurred to me while reading yet another article on what to do during an interview that there is no one route to employment. Either you are a person of interest or not. I find that if you follow the advice of experts you will be spinning around in circles more than anything.

In a couple of hours I will be at the library using one of the computers to create a skill based resume. I have fretted over this to a degree because it is not clear to me how to pick the skills that I have acquired out from my work experience. I have a resume for my teaching career. But if I am going to pull out as I honestly desire to do, then I need to act like that is the plan.

Making changes is not easy. Which is why I do not make new year resolutions. This idea was on my mind a year ago because it was obvious to me that teaching from the staff to administrative ends was really grating on my nerves. It is now time in my mind and that means using my skills to make that happen.

SHE IS ALIVE, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE IS WORTH DYING FOR

2012-01-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

WINTER SOLSTICE FOR THE SOUL!

2012-01-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up with a headache. The result of sleeping in a position that yields this result from time to time. It takes about an hour to work of the pain. This morning it was intense and I decided to cool out while the pain subsided.

NPR was featuring Paul Winter's Winter Solstice Concert 2011. I was listening to the program and enjoying the global sound of the music. Then I heard the most amazing song that I have heard in a long time. The Rain Has Come and Gone.

It is such an inspirational piece of music! The lyrics and the vocalist really moved my spirit. I knew that I had to have a copy of this particular number. Even though there are many nice songs performed, this is the one that made a cold, achy winter morning feel much better.

I visited the official website for the production and discovered that there is a free down load of music available. The Rain Has Come and Gone is one of the selections featured in the download. You can visit Paul Winter's Winter Solstice to learn more about this global music event.

The entire concert is available on NPR.

<p>&amp;lt;a href="http://paulwinter.bandcamp.com/album/2011-winter-solstice-collection"&amp;gt;2011 Winter Solstice Collection by Paul Winter&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;</p>

JUST AS I AM

2012-01-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

I had planned to take a walk around the block. However, the gusting wind made me think twice about that plan and I decided to just stay inside instead.

I was looking through my Facebook feed and noticed that a lot of pictures that are shared were shot in people's bathrooms or in a public restroom. Why? I have no idea what motivates people to have a picture moment in this particular space.

I decided to play with my phone and take some pictures of myself.

I have learned to appreciate my mature face over the past few years. I am currently allowing my hair to be in its true natural state because I want to see how gray I actually am. I thought that my hair would be white by now. Why? Family genetics denote that I should be sporting a head of white hair. It is gray and when I see enough then I will leave the coloring alone forever.

I love this particular turtle neck sweater. It is comfortable and it gives me a sense of security when I wear it. I had slipped it on to wear on my walk.

It took me several shots to get a set that was okay with me. I have crazy eyes. The lid on the left hand side of my face is actually lower than on the right side. I thought I had had a stroke when I first noticed it. My doctor assures me that is not the case and it is just how it is.

I had quite a learning experience from trying to take my own picture. I have friends who can flip a camera or a phone and just snap away. I had to work on how to achieve that by using my laptop screen as a mirror. It is not that easy and there were a lot of deleted shots along the way.

Aging physically is a natural part of living life. I remember the first time that I realized that I looked like a mature woman instead of a "young woman", it freaked me out momentarily because it seemed like it occurred overnight. I had to stop myself because I was almost 48 years old and it was okay. I am now 58 and I am okay with sharing this image of myself because it's how I really am in life. If I cannot accept myself just as I am--no one else will either.

Just as I am is okay with me.

TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING INTO THE FUTURE: 2012

2011-12-31T23:07:00.000-08:00

2012 has begun and I'll start out by wishing you a Happy New Year!

I went to Watch Service with my mother tonight. It was a good way to end 2011 and to step into 2012.

On the way home there were people shooting guns and fireworks booming in the skies. It sounded like we were in a war zone instead of a celebration.

I do not make New Year resolutions. I believe that this is not the way to make changes. When the need or desire rises up within my thoughts or life is when I decide what must be done. I already have situations that have begun the process of creating new Pearls of Wisdom for me. For the moment I am content to just savor over the goodness of being alive and well. I have no idea what this year is going to bring into my personal experiences. Whatever happens during the next twelve months, I am going to have to deal with that situation when it arrives.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE SOUL MUSIC STATIONS GONE?

2011-12-31T10:46:00.000-08:00

I realized something the other day--I miss having a good soul music station on the radio.

Back in the day we use to listen to 1580 WVKO. It was the voice of the people in my hometown. It is now a progressive talk station.

We did have three stations that played Classic Soul, Gospel and Urban Contemporary music. Recently the classic soul and gospel stations went off the air. What we have been left with is not for moi's ears. I don't particularly care for the play list that is primarily meant for a younger demographic.

I have heard different reasons why the other two stations were shut down. It doesn't really matter because what we ended up with is not going to pollute the atmosphere of my household. I am glad that I have an extensive music library because a sista needs to have her daily fix.

WVKO was more than just a soul music station. We actually connected as a community through weekly programs and sponsored events. It was definitely used as a organizing tool to help spread information on different events. You could call into the station and receive a warm response from the DJ working on the air. Or voice your opinion on a hot topic that had all of the community talking.

Motivational speaker Les Brown worked at WVKO as the get your ass up out of the bed DJ. He use to have the air wave popping in the morning.

I listen to NPR a lot because of the different shows that have grown on me. But NPR does not bump soul music on a regular basis. Our local NPR station has a banging Sunday line up of music. Afro Pop, Diane Reeves and The Jazz Living Room fill the air of my living space.

One of the biggest problems that I have with the elimination of the other two Black radio stations is the fact that there is now only one choice left for everyone to accept. But is it wise to totally remove the music that we created throughout the decades? There is something about that idea that I find to be sad on one hand and a reason to reject the idea on the other.

I know that this is not just happening in my hometown. It is a nationwide trend. Ironically, even though the changes are targeted to the listening taste of a younger listening audience, there are many folks who reject the playlist choices as being too narrow, too negative and not representative of the different style of hip-hop that actually exist.

A radio station should be diverse in its offerings. There should be something coming across the air waves for everybody to listen to. We have so many talented artist who are not receiving the exposure that they honestly deserve.

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY PART ONE

2011-12-31T09:54:00.000-08:00

I am taking a break from straightening up my living space by enjoying a nice ice cold glass of filtered water.

This is the last day of 2011. I am not that kind of hyped about the beginning of a new year. I stopped feeling that this way the way to approach the beginning of the next year of life. Some of the same issues and situations that existed in this year will be the same in the next year. Change does not occur from within instantly. It roots and grows gradually into existence.

I am enjoying my day off from working at the Food Pantry at my church. I worked yesterday and things went pretty smooth. It was an unexpected financial blessing because I was going to miss money due to the holiday. Someone had to be off and I was asked to replace them. I appreciate the replacement and I do not mind the work.

On my visit to library yesterday, I managed to borrow some currently released jazz Cd's. I am listening to Boney James at the moment. This is definitely going to be added into my media library. I really appreciate how my tax money is spent by this particular agency. I love going my community branch known as The Metro.

I also borrowed some more books. I have a huge stack of sit down reading to do over the next couple of months. Fiction and non-fiction are on my list. I am planning to spend Sunday watching movies which is something I have not done in a long time.

I am not going to be able to return to school until my employment situation gets straightened out. But that is not going to stop my home school flow. I am signed up to take a free course with Boyce Watkins and I am going to start one of MIT's free courses next week. There is always a way to increase your knowledge if you really desire to do so. I am looking forward to strengthening my skills and knowledge.

Tonight I plan to attend Watch Service with my mother. This is a tradition that I did not observe at the end of 2010 because I was swamped with homework and the stress of my previous job. These factors should of motivated me to be right there. But it was cold, snowy and a sista was tired. I opted to stay home and go to bed early. If there had not been the boom and bang of fireworks signaling the beginning of the new year, I would slept straight through until morning. I remember sitting up and thinking that it sounded more like we were under siege than a celebration. It took me a couple of hours to fall back to sleep.

If I am still blessed to be alive tonight,I will be at my mom's church doing what my mother's and father's before me have done to mark the end of one year and the start of the next. I feel like getting my praise on and I am looking forward to spending time with my mom.

Well it's time to get back on my job.

I AM ABOUT TO SHINE!

2011-12-29T20:08:00.000-08:00

I am reflecting on the blessings of the day. There is nothing like a by and by moment opening up within your spiritual thoughts.

There are times when situations look completely muddled when you try to sort them out. Obstacles, fears and doubts stand in the way of seeing solutions, alternative routes and possibilities.

But when the by and by moment arrives, things become clearer than they have ever been before. The veil is removed from off of your vision field to reveal needed answers.

I have had this experience today. Sitting at home and doing something needed within my living environment. I began to realize that my sense of being open and receptive was up and working. I just flowed with the spirit and continued to move as I was lead to do.

Now that true decisions have been established. It is time to move as if I have a set destination point of arrival. There is nothing like an on point song to help move that process along.

I THOUGHT MY MOURNING PERIOD WAS OVER...

2011-12-29T00:50:00.000-08:00

I miss my dad. He has been on my mind all day.

A year has already passed and it seems like it was just yesterday. I realize now that I moved through the days after he had made his transition operating on numb. I couldn't remember what day he actually passed, I had to look it up because my ability to tell time and to keep records of dates seems to have shut completely down that night. His death did not become real to me until I saw his casket being lowered into the ground. Even though I was there and watching every move, it was surreal to me as a daughter.

I tried to pinpoint what set off my sudden surge of missing my dad blues. There does not seem to be any obvious event or circumstance that triggered this feeling. It just rose up out of me all of the sudden and it only grew larger as the hours of the day went by.

The feeling caught me off guard because up until today, I thought that my sense of acceptance was really at a good level. I am still feeling pretty sure that is true.

Mourning is a difficult process to work through. I have taken the time to assess how I have felt since we laid my dad to rest. It appears to me that there were times when I should of just sat down and had a good cry but wouldn't or couldn't.

I really wish that he was here to see our new arrival. My youngest grandson carries my dad's first name as his middle name. I am sure that my dad would of put up a protest because he was not that fond of his name. Each one of my son's has considered using his name for their own children until they were informed that their babies were girls. I am not sure that we will have any more grandchildren added into our circle so the last one of this particular generation has the honor of carrying his name.

To relieve myself of some of the heaviness that was flowing through me, I went out for some fresh air and to run a couple of errands. It is beginning to feel like winter in my hometown. The air is crisp and cold. There are patches of frozen surface water on different sections of the street and sidewalks. All of the leaves are on the ground and things look rather bleak throughout the city. Even though this is not the most desirable view, it is one that I am well accustomed to seeing. I was out of the house for a couple of hours and it helped me to clear my head. I still feel the pangs of missing my dad and I know that is because I love him and I wish that he was here. That is basic human emotions and I am okay with experiencing what mourning brings into my thoughts. I just hope that in due time and in due season, when I think about him it will be with less pain and more joy.

Dear God,

I want to give thanks for the blessing of having my dad in my life. He was there for me when I really needed him and he was always my mentor and guide.

I know that there is a time and season when life begins and when life here comes to an end. It is written in all of our stories and we will eventually come to that day. I want to live the remaining days of my life sharing the gift of joy, laughter and wise advice as a parent and grandparent. I hope that as my own life continues to advance in the year's that I will be able to see my grandchildren grown up and have time to share the simple pleasures of living. I hope that I will be physically and mentally capable to move about with my family and without them.

Please continue to bless us with the shield of security and safety that protects us from all manner of harm and danger. Please continue to bless us to grow wiser each day of our lives. Help us to continue to move towards our goals and to dream bigger than we ever have during our collective life times.

While we are resting tonight, please keep watch over us and over the neighbors who share space around us. Bless us all to rise up in the morning with our minds, bodies and spirits filled with a sense of renewal and positive energy.

I thank you for this day and for the blessings that you have sent to me and my family. I give your praise and thanks for the blessings that are on the way.

In Jesus name, I pray

Amen

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP

2011-12-28T01:07:00.000-08:00

Repair

Renewal

Restoration

Realization

This is the current spiritual cycle that I am moving through. The events of the past 48 hours have given me the opportunity to be engaged in a needed activity while receiving information that I know is vital to my well being.

I have been busy reorganizing items in my household and filling up boxes for another donation run. I have books, Cd's, bed linen and probably other items that will be removed from my presence. I have to say that it feel much lighter in my home and within my spirit from the changes that have occurred.

Yesterday I cleaned out my sewing box and my knitting basket and I organized my paper stock.

I have already completed my closets. I have been able to get my winter wardrobe up and in line with the season. It has been warm here but tonight there's a gusty wind blowing and there is a rain and snow mix in our weather story for tomorrow. I have to go out tomorrow and having access to my wool coats is greatly appreciated. I plan to get up and get myself together and head out early. I have several errands to run during the day. From the sound of the wind outside the going is going to be challenging.

Dear God,

I give you praise and thanks for the blessings that have flowed my way on this day. I give you thanks for watching over me and my loved ones. Their going out and their coming back in has been blessed with safety. No harm has come to them or through them. For this blessing I also give you my thanks.

I have been able to accomplish a set of needed tasks. I give thanks for the spiritual shaking that you gave to me. It was what my physician ordered to help me get out of the mental rut that I was in.

If it is in your will for my life, please bless me to have a good nights' sleep and when I wake up, I am asking for a capable mind and body to be mine in the morning.

Please continue to watch over me and my loved ones. Bless us to be safe and secure during the night. Bless us to rise up in the morning and to feel the presence of your light and love around us.

I am asking for your continued guidance in my life. Help me to have eyes that see and ears that hear what is meant for me to know.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen

MUSICAL BREAK!

2011-12-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here listening to music by Alternative Quartet. I find this particular group to be very eclectic in terms of their style of play. Their instruments project a contemporary flavor that I find to be visually delicious. I like the designs of the instruments because they speak of a freedom that is not easily associated with classically trained musicians.

You Tube has a nice sample of this quartet's recorded works. This group works as a unit and also as collaborators with other musicians.

The Goat Rodeo Sessions is an ambitious and groundbreaking project that brings together four string virtuosos: world-renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma, fiddler Stuart Duncan, bassist Edgar Meyer and mandolinist Chris Thile. These artists -- each prominent figures in the music space independently -- have come together as a unique ensemble for this project. The music, including two tracks with female vocalist Aoife O'Donovan, crosses several different genres. (You Tube Notes)

The music is improvised by this quartet. The term goat rodeo is basically an event in which action begins and it is built upon. The trick is knowing when to begin and come to an end. I have been taught to listen to all different types of music so the blue grass sound does not throw me off as a listener. I think that we should teach people to listen to all types of music and not box up listening opportunities that are satisfying. My grandfather could play songs from the European culture because he worked weddings and other celebrations. This video features a live performance of the songs that came out of the original session. You may not like the total package, but it is worth taking a listen to because of the caliber of the musicians who are playing these songs. This is a select group of individuals in today's digital society. They can actually play, read and produce music from their knowledge base and deliver an outstanding live performance of their work.

I have had people question what is the draw for me to listen to different types of music? It is just my basic human curiosity at work. I borrow a lot of music from the library to listen to. What I like becomes a part of my media library. I have made some of my favorite music discoveries by simply picking up a CD to take home. My library drives the average pop culture listening nuts. I like a mix of sounds and diversity is definitely a part of my selections.

REMEMBERING WHAT I SHOULD NOT FORGET

2011-12-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot how bad my collection of jewelry really is. Until I went through my material woman stash today.

A year in uniform dress will make you fall into a rut about accessories. When you're moving on the flow of the grind, it is all about just being well prepared enough to get out the door and arrive on time.

I am in the middle of purging my living space. I want my material load reduced to necessary items. My spirit woman has been rejoicing over the release of things that I no longer need or want to own. There is a lightness of being that comes from reclaiming space that was once occupied with an item of some kind. I feel like the weight of ownership is on a level of manageable.

I have been working on this project in sections. I am completing the last round of packing up items. Tomorrow I will be removing them for recycling.

My ability to purchase gifts is non-existent this year. Instead of sitting here feeling the sense of regret for not being able to share a gift with my family members, I decided to recycle items into gifts. I will be sharing books, and other items that are either useful or unique that individual person. I am making my little people home schooling packs on the subject of winter. I have the materials here to put that together. I will be able to construct those on Saturday in a couple of hours.

I am feeling a resurgence of my inner power. I have been operating on low fuel for the past few weeks. Even though I have been moving forward, my progress rate appeared to be slower that I desired. But during this week, I am content with the level of production that I have actually accomplished.

FREEDOM OF THOUGHT

2011-12-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

The Beauty of Being Myself

Who do I say that I am?

Being Black and a Woman is the reality of my life.

These are not two separate spheres of my identity

I am a trilogy of womanhood and my sacred self will not tolerate any attempts to break into the circle of love and light.

I am maturing.

There is joy in this recognition of time in my life.

My transition into the realm of wise women is my reward for living that kind of life. My view from the hills has given me the privilege to testify on that which is true about living a life.

Thousands of days have already come and gone since the day of my birth. The contents of my memories were created from out the spaces and places that I've been on those days. You can't tell my story like I can...

You do not have instant access to my woman self because of a need to satisfy your curiosity about what the contents of womanhood look like. What queen shows off her jewels without considering the manner of person who will be looking at her treasures? If this notion insults you then do not charge at me with your sense of displeasure. If it hits a nerve inside of you--maybe you need to look at why something about this statement rings true.

I am not trying to be all that....I am being the woman that has been designed to appreciate life...

I am the one who determines when permission to enter into private spaces of my life will be granted. Your expressed interest is not going to convert into a key card unless I see something that indicates you will step inside my life correct. My movement away from you should be considered an act of grace on my part. There is nothing like knowing when to avoid a potential disaster. I have survival skills on many levels...they kick in when the need presents itself as a situation...

Preventative care is always up and working within my aura of light.

Cause once you enter through the threshold of my being you have knowledge that is entrusted because that is the way of human to human interactions..It works for me and you may find that it is the opposite of what your expectations may need to be fulfilled.

SHOWING OFF MY PRIZES FROM THE ROOT!

2011-12-19T13:46:00.000-08:00

I received a nice prize page today from The Root. I entered a contest last week and I was one of the five people who won a prize.

Originally I was just expecting a tee-shirt because my size was requested on the e-mail notification that I received. I returned the information thinking that a shirt would be okay because I do wear tees throughout the year.

Here's my prize package! Two books, two Cd's, a neat zip up earth friendly logo bag, the tee shirt and two cards. I needed a little pick me up and this hit the spot on a dreary Monday.

FIRST THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

2011-12-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

It is the coffee hour in my home. That time when I can sit down and enjoy a perfect cup of brew without being interrupted by the demands of living a life up under the sun.

This particular a.m. I am listening to Duke Ellington's "Come Sunday" while enjoying my first cup. I have come to realize as time passes that the musical education that my parents and grandparents provided me is a perpetual gift. I can sit down and go through my media library or the other sources that are available and select great songs, listen to them and appreciate the creative process that produced the music.

Lately I have been taking the time to sort out my thoughts about myself during this time of the day. I have decision to make within the next few hours and they are not easy ones to confront. Such is life in the big city. No matter which pathway is shown to me, the step onto that road will be a new journey for me. I usually relish the idea of stepping off onto new grounds. This time there is a different sense of recognition within me about this move. The steps that I make will be closing doors that have been open to me for a long time. I find myself questioning if this is a reality that I will be content with creating? There is no way to know what my reaction will be until a decision is made on my part.

But for the moment, that is not what's truly important. I am almost finished with my first cup and it is time for me to start preparing to head out for worship service. I am looking forward to having a spiritual refreshing on this Sunday morning.

I AM AN CONSPIRATOR

2011-12-07T23:42:00.001-08:00

I am participating in a conspiracy.
My involvement is allowing me to artful avoid the never ending message of the retail marketers regarding Christmas.

This year I plan to:
Worship Fully
Spend Less
Give More
Love All

These are the principles of the Advent Conspiracy.

I have found it odd for years that Christians are the only religious sect in the world that combines it's Holy Days with a capitalist spend fest. There is no other major religion that has the taint of spend, spend, spend as a part of their commemorations.

We are still in the grip of an economic depression. Millions of people are unemployed and struggling to stay alive. The idea of spending money on presents is not the major concern of many households this year. Yet, the retail sector of this nation has gone insane with ways to lure people into the stores.

This is not the true meaning of the season. The celebration of the birth of Jesus the Christ is reason for the season.

I do not know how anyone else feels. I am truly tired of being bombarded daily with the sense of uncertainty that is covering the nation. I am tired of receiving e-mails encouraging me to sign this petition or call a politician. I am tired of reading news items that only confirm that morality in this nation is at an all time low-with heavy trading going on.

Enough already!

It's time to chill out. Time to sit down and reflect on the blessings that have flowed into our lives. Time to think about what it means to be joyful without relying on a material purchase to generate that feeling.

Christmas translated means Chris has arrived. The gifts that were given to him were simple. The one that his spirit generates to us is great. Money cannot purchase that sense of peace, joy, happiness.

I intend to approach this Christmas quietly. I am going to enjoy spending time with my family. I am going to give thanks for the blessing of making it though a difficult time with my sanity still grounded in reality.

Being a participant in the Advent Conspiracy is an opportunity to truly appreciate the meaning of Christmas. I have a sense of wholeness within my spirit that is better than any monetary purchase. I want to share the blessing of just being human without an agenda for profit.

This conspiracy is not a closed group. Anyone can join. There is no sign up site. No fees. No one will be sending e-mails that request you do anything.

MORGANA KING: MUSIC YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

2011-11-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

I started listening to Morgana King in 1965. I was still a young girl but I had grown accustomed to being exposed to the musical interests of different members of my family.

On Sunday afternoons we would sit and listen to jazz and to show tunes on a Maganvox stereo system. Those times were filled with great music and instruction on different aspects of phrasing, composition and lyrical content.

Morgana King caught my ear instantly. I simply liked her vocal style and range. The album that introduced me to Morgana was "It's a Quiet Thing".

Morgana's voice sounded like pure bliss to my youthful ears. I would put this album on during the weekend and listen to it from beginning to end. Another one of my favorite cuts from this particular album is "Here's That Rainy Day."

You can listen to more of Morgana King's recordings on You Tube, Spotfiy and LastFM.

STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT: REMEMBERING TO MAKE WISHES

2011-11-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

Star light
Star bright
First star, I've seen tonight.

I wish I may.
I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

I learned this verse from a neighbor by the name of Olivia Scott. We always called her Scottie. She taught it to me one evening while we were in our respective back yards.

I remember standing on the back porch in total awe over the number of stars that were in the sky. Scottie was in her back yard turning off the water hose. She noticed that I was star gazing. She called me over the hedges and she began to point out the different constellations by name.

Then she taught me that verse.
After I learned it, Scottie reminded me not to forget to make a wish after saying it.

I did so that night. I cannot remember what my wish was on that particular evening. I am not going to share my personal wish in this post. Everyone knows that sharing your wishes voids them out.

There are times when we should remember that there is still magic in wishing. Just formulating the idea and setting it out in the universe is the beginning of possibility. If it is truly a desire of our heart, we will begin to make the steps toward making that wish a reality.

Every once and a while there should be a moment when we all make a wish. No matter how far fetched it seems or unattainable it seems to be, we should not stifle our imagination. We should allow ourselves to be wide open to all the opportunities that could be formulated in our lives.

I remember on the evening that Scottie taught me that verse and taught me the names of the constellations, it was time to go inside for the night. Before we parted company she ended our conversation with a wish for me.

Rest well and dream beautifully!

LIKE RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC

2011-11-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

It seems that you stepped out of nowhere.
Renegad children of the workig class gone wild in the streets.

A mass of human discontent, no longer willing to remain uncomfortable in your comfort zone. You began to move like rush hour traffic at the end of a long work week. Swift with impatience to arrive at your destination, you lurched forward.

Your presence dismantled our belief that we had made you soft with over indulgence. You stepped out hard and strong with a conviction of beliefs that the time was now simply because you said so.

Like rush hour traffic on the eve of a three day weekend, your numbers congested the streets, claiming ownership from block to block. You snaked through city with a GPS that was set to direct you to intersection where what needs to be and what is would clash.

Knowing this did not deter you. You moved like a hot rod, illegally racing through the night. Beating out rhythms and filling the night air with chants.

They watched from windows and on televisions.
Stunned by your presence they tried to ignore you.
Until it became obvious that you were not going away.

Suddenly fearful that your truth would openly expose their gluttony. They sprung into action, calling out the urban calvary and setting up detours. Mapping out a violent response that would restrict and restrain you.

The swings of billy clubs, rubber bullets and pepper spray were unleased to make you turn back.

Instead of retreating, you advanced upon them and they realized that this was the nightmare of their American dream happening.

They tried to make it seem that you were irrelevant.
That your birthright was insufficient.
That you had no true reason to be angry with them.
That you were wrong in your truth telling.
While their lies continued to feel the blows of being struck down every day that you resisted.

You brought your 21st Century twist to the story of struggle. Facebooked and tweeted your message globally. The rest of the world responded by taking to the streets in solidarity.

Mic check is no longer sole property of hip hop MCs.
It is not two words that strike like a stake through their cold cash sucking hearts. They realize that you are there and it is their due time. Your voice in unison overpowers their demands that you stop it! Get out! Leave us alone!

Your momentary disturbance in their atmosphere is a reminder that their time is drawing nigh.

You have been labeled as a gang.
Mocked as hippies.
Chided because you are not filing into non-existent jobs.
While their uneasiness continues to make them want you to go away. Go back. Accept that it is what it is, and to do so without question.

Like an unruly child you do not listen nor do you yield to their protest. You conitnue to interrupt their proceedings as if the moment belongs solely to you.

You continue to move like rush hour traffic that is filled with road raged drivers that will not yield to their taunts and attacks.

In their attempt to run you off the road, they have only enraged us. We have watched as they uproot you in full riot regalia, a sign that they are more afraid of your power than they will openly admit. They have unleashed a rage that was designed to quelch and dystroy your spirit.

You have left them unnerved because your did not retreat.

A well organized dismantling of your take over was supposed to put an end to the matter. Send you back home or where ever in the hell you came from.They meant for you to feel deflated and feeling defeated by their show of force.

Instead you continued to move like rush hour traffic. Momentarily scattered by the clash of violence versus non-violence. You managed to reorganize. You managed to keep it moving. Instead of going home, you continue to move forward. Still occupying the streets. While they tried to erase your presence and discard your efforts. You continue to move forward.

This type of power is frightening.
Unsettling to those who believe that there is no one more powerful than they are.
You have confused their logic and shattered their reasoning. They have felt the eyes of the world watching their moves. An outcry has sprug up around the world. Reducing them to speak in guarded tones and media byte swipes. Too afraid to step up in your midst. Fearful of the truths that wait to confront them.

You have stood up and stayed up.

IT'S BEEN A GOOD DAY!

2011-11-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

I am basking in the glow of a good day.

It's my birthday today! I am now 58 years old.

I did not finish my living room project today as planned. I did manage to do some work on it. I will jump back on it tomorrow in the a.m.

I did go out with my mom for dinner and we had a great time. I ate Gummy Bears for my birthday treat. Gummy Bears are one of my favorite non-chocolate candies!

I listened to music. Finished listening to an audio book story by Pearl Cleage while I did housework.

All in all, I'm happy to be alive!

Dear God,
Thank you for blessing me to be alive on this day. I truly appreciate the gift of life!
Thanks for blessing me to spend time with my mom. Thanks for the well wishes from my family and my friends.

I have had an enjoyable day just chilling out. Thanks for keeping me company while I moved about.

In Jesus' name, I give you praise and thanks!
Amen

ON THE EVE OF MY BIRTHDAY

2011-11-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

This is the eve of my 58th birthday.

I have spent time evaluating how I feel about this year of my life. I have to admit that it has not gone as I hoped that it would. There have been too many moments in which my choices and decisions have not faired out like I thought that they would. This is how it goes sometimes and I hope that I am wise enough to benefit from what my errors have taught me.

I am giving myself a gift tomorrow. I am going to rearrange my front room. This may seem odd to some folks since this type of activity requires phyical labor. But, this is what I want to accomplish. I plan to get up early and go to work on making my personal space look and feel different.

I hope that as I begin my next year of life, I will be able to move more gracefully than I have this past year.

FIGHTING BACK AND WINNING!

2011-11-12T20:13:00.001-08:00

There are times when I must reach back into my past.
Reconnect with the memory of the trip that moved me to this juncture in my life.
That is how my strength replenishes itself.
I have been feeling the press of disappointment for the past few days. It was of my making and I am not afraid to admit this out loud.

However, a journey into the valley of disappointment is not meant to be a residence for my spirit. It is just one of those stops along the way to where I am supposed to be heading.

I am fortunate because there is enough experience in my back story to draw from in this moment. I realize that when I moved away from that space it was with a new sense of wisdom. This time has been no different.

What I needed to know about myself emerged like a beacon on a stormy night. Guiding me past the ragged edges of fear and self-reprimand, moving me onto a pathway of remembrance. That road that is paved with the solid rock of faith that I have inside of my heart and mind. Moving me past the moment when my personal shortcoming and failures tried to detour me from the goal I was meant to achieve.

Dear God,

Thank you for blessing me on this day. Thank you for moving and motivating me to stand up on the belief that is ingrained inside of my spirit.

Thank you for keeping watch over me and my loved ones.
Thank you for all the blessings that have been mine on this day.
Thank you for the blessing of a renewed mind and spirit.

In Jesus name, I pray
Amen

JUST A DAY IN MY LIFE

2011-11-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

I woke up this a.m. with a taste for some home made chili. Which is not that surprising because it is one of my favorite dishes during the fall and winter season.

Preparing chili is an event in my portion of the world. I cook everything from scratch. I usually have most of the ingredients on hand to prepare what I have dubbed as Miss Debbie's Five Alarm Chili.

I like my chili spicy and thick with a side of cornbread and a glass of cold beer. I very seldom drink alcohol and when I do it is usually with a meal.

When I went through my cabinets to make sure all the items that I needed were on hand, I discoveed that there were no red beans available. This slowed me down immediately because that meant a trip to store to purchase a bag.

I got dressed and headed out. Today's weather was sunny with a crisp breeze. I took my camera with me because I wanted to take pictures of some artwork that has been posted in a vacant lot on Main Street.

I have no idea who created this picture. I discovered on my way to the store on afternoon. I snapped a picture of the work because the caption expresses the need within the community. I rode past the area recently and saw that more works had been posted in the lot.

I have no idea how these two works are connected. I wasn't sure that the original piece was going to remain standing but it has been up since summer.

This is a new addition to the works on display.

Then there is this sign which is mounted on a electric line pole. While I was taking the photo a group of men were coming out of a house. They all stopped when they saw me with a camera in my hand. That made me laugh because they should know that if I was in law enforcement their sudden halt would of been reason enough for me to take their picture. Once they realized that I was not interested in what they were doing, they continued on.

I made my purchases and walked back home. I did not start the beans to soaking because I had other things to do this evening. I wll be preparing the chili tomorrow afternoon.

I am looking forward to taking my time and mixing this dish up the way that I like it. I will also be finishing up an audio book titled Some Sing Some Cry .

SWEET DREAMS

2011-11-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

It's time to rest for the night.

I was thinking about how good it use to feel to be tucked into bed surrounded by freshly ironed sheets and a handmade quilt.

While I was getting settled in for the night, my grandmother would gently hum a tune while adjusting the covers.

Then we would say our prayers for the night.

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Amen

After we finished praying it would be time for a kiss and the final tuck of the covers. Right before she would turn out the lamp on the night stand, she would say to me, "sweet dreams".

I wish the same for you tonight.

A SIGN OF THE AGES

2011-11-09T23:04:00.000-08:00

When your innocence is stolen who can give it back?

Who has the power to move you back before that moment when everything about you was violated?

What manner of apology can be issued that will override the pain and scars that have been incurred? Is there a monetary sum that will erase all the memories of an act that steals the joy of childhood away?

How do you trust anyone after being betrayed by someone that was supposed to be your mentor and a friend?

We are seeing a scandal of major proportions unfold at Penn State. All of the attention has been on the adults in the situation. But what about the victims? Who is speaking up in their behalf at this time?

I realize that the media can only gain access to the males who were a part of the Penn St. administrative staff and Joe Pa. But it seems that too much attention has been drawn on them and not enough on the young males who were involved.

Sexual abuse of a child is an ugly situation. There is no way to put sugar over shit and make it sweeter or smelling better.

I read a portion of the charges. I am not sure if I will return to read the rest. There is a detailed account of what happened to the victims. It is graphic and obvious that the people who should of protected the children did not.

I live in the heart of Buckeye Country. I am a long time O-State fan. But there is no way that I could condone anyone trying to protect the program if this type of abuse was occurring and it was known.

I read some of the tweets this evening and I could not believe that there are people who are more concerned about the football program than the children. It seems to be a sign of the times and the lack of priorities.

It is truly sad to see that there are people who think a football program is worth more than the lives of children.

THOUGHTS ON A MOONLIT NIGHT

2011-11-08T23:51:00.000-08:00

The Black Walnut tree outside of my window is completely bare of its leaves. Unadorned the tree is no longer a source of shelter for the squirrel who sits on branches during the summer and peers into my window.

The beauty of fall is just a moment. It seems like the thick green foliage transforms over night then it drifts away on the breezes that flow through the city.

It is time to start preparing for winter. I have been packing my summer life completely away. It is time for pulling out sweaters, tights, jackets and coats.

Winter is not far off. It is difficult to determine what this year's season will bring. But it is time to prepare for anything that might happen.

I have had a productive day. I am thankful for all that I've been able to accomplish. I have managed to starve my doubt and nourish my faith. That was the true goal and it happened just as I hoped that it would.

It is late and I am about to go to sleep for the night. I believe that I will rest well tonight.

Dear God,

Thanks for all the blessings that have flowed my way today.
Thank you for keeping my spirit filled with a positive vibe during this day.
Thank you for watching over me and my loved ones as we moved about. I appreciate the blessing of safe keeping.

Thank you for the insight that came through for me.

Thank you for the moments when I felt like laughing or singing out loud in praise.

Thank for the blessing of food, shelter and all of the needs that I had on this day that were fulfilled.

As I prepare to go to sleep for the night, please continue to watch over me. Bless me to have time to restore my physical body and my mind.

Please watch over me and my loved ones while we slumber.
Keep us safe from all manners of harm while we are resting.

I know that there are people in this world who are hurting tonight. They are in pain because loved ones have passed. Please bless them with the spirit of comfort and all that they need during this painful time.

I know that there are people in this world who are ill and need your healing touch to help ease their pain. Please bless those people who are working to help them to be filled with the light of healing.

There are people who have no peace in their lives. You have the power to remove the chaos, confusion and replace it with order and light. Please grant this blessing to them and to us as well.

In your word we are charged to pray for those who are charged to govern over the populations of this world. Please bless them to become wiser, more compassionate in their actions.

Bless those people who do not have a home to be sheltered on this chilly night. Keep watch over them and let no harm come through them or to them.

If it is your will that I rise in the morning, please bless me to have a capable body and a working mind. Please grant this to my loved ones as well.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

DOUBT NO MORE!

2011-11-08T04:13:00.000-08:00

Let go and let God.

I have heard this advice for years and I know what the definition of this submission means to be as a believer. I have done so on so many different issues in my life with satisfying results.

As I worked on my resume yesterday to add on revisions, I found myself questioning my capabilities. I was surprised by the sudden bombardment of doubt on my part. I am a capable teacher and I know this. I also know that there is a type of employment situation that I want no part of as a teacher. So where did the sudden doubt rise up from?

I stopped working on the revisions and got dressed. I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I had some errands that needed to be completed as well and I figured that the two events would help me work things out.

As I headed out listening to my play list of the moment, I realized that I am not doing what is on my heart. I love teaching so much! But, I am also very tired of all the hoops that go with the profession. I have contact with people who are still trying to lure talent (their words) without offering the pay rate that talent deserves. I have already blown off a couple of providers in this arena and they are not easily dismissed.

I also realized that I am supposed to making moves into a second career. This is not easy but it is also not impossible. I was moving in the direction of familiar and it was not setting well on my thoughts or spirit.

I believe that there is a time when a person has to take a leap of faith and trust that when they land, it will be in the right place. So, why wasn't I acting in this manner? Why was I allowing a level of doubt in my capabilities to flood over my desires.

The answer was easy enough to attain. Fear of the unfamiliar. Stepping out into the unknown is always uncomfortable. Especially when a person's income is attached to the steps in the opposite direction.

I spent a couple of hours out and about. I cleared my head and came home. I am thankful for the time that I spent in self-examination because it is easier to starve doubts and nourish faith.

I am of a renewed mind this morning. I am about to continue where I stumbled yesterday to move past that level.

Dear God,

As I prepare to go forth into this day, I want to give thanks for the gift of life. Thanks for keeping watch over me during the night and for the blessing of a healthy body and sound mind to use on this day.

I give thanks for the time that I spent in communion with your spirit yesterday. I gained the level of comfort, wisdom and knowledge that I needed to feel secure in my faith. I am fully believing that you know where I am supposed to be placed. I know that as I move towards that direction and into that space, I must be mindful that I was created to achieve in many different arenas of life.

I am asking that you bless me to have eyes that see and ears that hear whatever messages are meant for me. I also ask that you continue to guide my steps.

Please continue to watch over my loved ones. Bless us as we move about on this day to be one with you in our spirits. Keep us safe from all manners of harm or danger. Bless us with all that we need on this day.

In Jesus name, I pray
Amen

TO MY SONS: HERE'S ONE OF THE THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO YOU

2011-11-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here this morning at my laptop thinking about all three of you in the way that mothers often do.

I wanted to share some of thoughts with you in the open because we know that once the opportunity is gone, what we should of said or could of said is gone too.

I love each one of you unconditionally. You are the best of all that I have created during my time on the earth. I will be your backup when no one else will stand with you.

Even though you are all adults now, it is still my job to be your mother. That means that I still have an obligation to share my wisdom, concerns, reprimands and my love. It is also my pleasure to do so because you are my family and that is the legacy of our bloodline.

I know that each one of you have positive points and things that you need to work out in your lives. I only want what is best for each one of you. But, you must want it more than I do to have it. I can preach, cuss, fuss, cry and all those things that parents do, to try and move in that direction. But it is your responsibility to dream BIG, and then be determined enough to take those dreams and make them real. I can help you in that effort but it is primarily your responsibility.

You have your own off springs now. I will charge each one of you to love them unconditionally. To do all that you can to give them opportunities in this American life that we are a part of. Teach them to see the beauty within their spirits and within this world. Teach them to stand as individuals and to think on things beyond what is common. They are going to be challenging and challenged as they grow. God only knows how long their great-grandparents and their grandparents will be here to help you in that task. Use our wisdom, knowledge and resources wisely. Hopefully, you will develop your own to the point where they want to follow in your footsteps. Give them the boost that they need to be strong in their determination to have a good life and that is not just economically. Some of the best moments of my life on earth have nothing to do with spending or earning money.

Honor the traditions of your fathers before you. They stood as men in the face of adversity and they never bowed down to defeat. You will have times when things do not work out. Take the lessons you learned from failure and get back up again because if you really believe that you can or should, eventually you will.

Honor the mothers of your sons and daughters. They have given you the greatest gift in the world. Even when your relationships seem to be less than expected remember that you selected these women to be a part of our family. We will be forever bonded together because your children are our children as well. Respect their labors as they take on the responsibility of child rearing. Help out when you see the need to do so. There is no such thing as "woman's work" in this society. Home building is a shared responsibility. Get up and help out because you can and more importantly because your children need to see what type of people they want to be or include in their lives.

And please remember this: You are my children forever. I am thankful that each one of you are within my reach and that you're alive and well. Know that you are loved always.

GIVING THANKS FOR THIS DAY

2011-11-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I am giving praise and thanks for the blessings that have been graciously bestowed upon me on this day.

I give thanks for the peace of mind that filled my thoughts on this day.

I give thanks for the insight that came through to me during the hours of this day.

I give thanks for the blessing of having a family that is safe and blessed with all they need on this day.

As we prepare to lay down for the night, I ask that you watch over us, keep us safe from all manners of danger seen and unseen. Bless us to have a good night filled with pleasant dreams and renewed physical bodies.

Watch over the people that we love. Protect each one of them as well.

If it is your will that we all rise up in the morning, please bless us to do so with capable bodies and functional minds.

Bless those who do not have shelter on this evening to find someplace that is safe and out of the chill of this night.

Bless those who are ill to rest peacefully throughout the night. Touch them with your healing power and comfort them though their difficult time.

Bless those who have lost their loved ones. Circle them with your love and light, wipe their tears and hold them close to your loving spirit.

Thank you for the blessing of this day. I give you praise and thanks for all that you have done.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

COME ON FALL BACK!

2011-11-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am looking forward to fall back tonight! I have never been a supporter of springing ahead because it has never made sense to me. The adjusting of a clock is suppose to give us more daylight but I sincerely believe that it only causes our inner clocks to go haywire.

I remember when it was decided to alter time. I never really liked the idea and to this day I am always happier to fall back than I am to spring ahead.

For the next few months my bio rhythms will be in tune with the actual time on the clock. I will be able to rest properly and go with the flow.

I am really looking forward to the hour when time changes.

Come on Fall Back! I'm glad to see your arrival!

RETURNING TO THE EARLY DAYS OF TELEVISION

2011-11-03T23:55:00.000-07:00

I spent part of my evening going back into the days of early television with a friend. During my childhood television was still a fairly young medium. We had a floor model set by Admiral. Back then televisions had to warm up before you could see the picture. It also was a medium that signed off during the week by 1 a.m. The only late night viewing was on Friday and Saturday evenings.

One of the shows that I use to like was To Tell The Truth. A game show that required the panel to figure out who the celebity was among three choices.

Another favorite show of mine was What's My Line?

Another favorite show of mine was The Garry Moore Show.

My early childhood education was provided by Captain Kangaroo. I would eat breakfast and then head into the living room to watch this show.

These are just a few of the shows that were the entertainment staples of American households. We had a good time sitting down as a family watching them during the week.

I stopped watching television last year. I thought that I would really miss it, but I don't. Thanks to contemporary technology, I can watch most of the programs that I enjoy on my laptop. But there will never be another era of programming like the early era of the medium.

REBOOTING!

2011-11-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like time to do some serious soul searching. I have been busy all day long probing within my thoughts without any interruptions. This is a luxury that I seldom can indulge in during the week.

I have had to make some decisions about the direction my professional life will take. I keep feeling that I am not moving like I should. Being at home during a workday is a good indicator of this to me.

I have probed pretty deep to unearth the root of my fears and my feelings of indecisiveness. I realized during the coffee hour this morning that it no longer makes sense to just keep returning to a classroom when I am working towards moving myself out of a classroom.

Originally, I had planned to teach until my undergrad degree was completed. Then I would start to search for a job in a different setting. Suddenly this plan makes no sense because it is obvious to me that I am not moving in the right direction. The time to reboot is now!

I am working on changing my perspective about working because the one I have been using has produced the same results. I am willing to use my past to change my present reality into a situation that is more suited to my needs.

This is not going to be easy. I will be the first to admit that it is going to be damn hard to accomplish. But when I am successful the effort will be worth it.

I have been moving in a way that is unbalanced. That is not going to yield the results that I want. I am taking the time this week to get myself up righted so I can make the forward moves that I need.

This time I am determined to set myself up for success. There is no other outcome that will work.

Dear God,

I am coming before you on this night to give thanks for the time that has been allotted to me to regroup and reboot. I appreciate the opportunity to spend time cleansing away the muck and debris from making moves and choices that were not totally beneficial to me.

Thank you for blessing me to be able to see and hear the messages that have come to me on this day.

Thank you for blessing to be able to look at things from a different viewpoint and perspective. I appreciate the gift of a vision from you.

Please help me to be mindful that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Help me to starve my doubt and to keep my faith well nourished.

Order my steps so that as I move along, I will be headed in the direction that is meant for me to go in.

In Jesus name, I pray

Amen

BACK TO THE BEGINNING AGAIN!

2011-11-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

I am home today and feeling the effects of ending up right back where I began a year and two months ago, unemployed and in search of a new job.

I should be angry, upset or feeling numb at this particular time. None of those feelings have been able to open up inside of my thoughts. When I left my place of employment last Friday afternoon, I walked home giving thanks to God for answering a question that I had placed before Him. I had asked if the position that I held was the right job for me? I received my answer and I am okay with the end result.

The only regret that I have is the fact that the children that I have been with did not know I was not coming back. I wish that I could of told them myself because we were truly friends.

But there comes a time when enough is just what is really is--enough. I had made myself be as quiet as possible when I should of been rising up like the woman I honestly am in spirit. Instead, I tried to work nicely and get along with others and in my attempt to be subdued, a major mistake was made by a member of the adminstrative staff. That individual tried to place me inside of a box of definitons where she had total control over who I am. Just thinking about this makes me cringe because I still cannot believe that I went along quietly with this for as long as I did.

I did not loose my temper or even go off during our final encounter. God had prepared me to be accepting of being set free. I listened long enough to allow myself to hear that I was being relieved of my duties. Listening to those words uplifted my spirit and I was no longer obligated to sit throug any more lectures. I stopped the conversation and left quietly and politely.

I realized on the way home that I should be in sheer panic mode. I have managed to save some money and hopefully, I will be blessed to find a better position than the one that I just left.

IN THE HOURS BEFOE THE DAWN

2011-09-08T02:17:00.000-07:00

It is the hour before the city starts to wake up and begin moving into today's business.

This is one of my favorite times of the day because there is no clutter from my to do list to prevent free flowing thought.

Like my mothers before me, I have learned how to get up before dawn's baby face crowns in eastern skies. I realize now that this is the best time of the day to actually think and solve problems or make decisions. There is no one to disturb the peacefulness of the moment. No one is wanting or needing anything in the quick, fast and in a hurry time that is traditionally the rate of demands.

This is the hour in which revelations rise up and make their presence known. I have learned more during this hour of the day than any other. The thoughts that rise up are mine and they come from out of the life that I actually live. I have no problem with admitting the truth or crushing myths or lies about myself or my circumstances.

During my period of unemployment, this was the hour when I would meditate, pray and reaffirm my determination to continue to search until I found a job. I often shed tears during this time of the day because the strain I felt had me on the brink of the breaking point. Those tears helped me to lessen the sense of being overwhelmed. Afterwards, I would soak in the tub, cover my eyes with a cool towel and allow the sense of "it is well", to cover over my soul.

This is the time of day when I can hear the spirit talking to me without interruption. There is no noise to drown out the message. There is no reason for me to be distracted from listening and pondering over what was said. I hear the message and I have the opportunity to take it in and
digest the contents.

People often wonder why I rise so early? Especially since I do not have to report to work until 8:30. I never really give a full reason why because it is really not their business with me. I use to get up early to have a moment of freedom and sanity before getting my boys up and moving for the day.

Now it is the hour where I formulate the contents of my dreams and on-going aspirations.

RETURN TO THE NIGHT RITUALS OF LIFE

2011-09-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

I am having a hot cup of Blueberry and Pomegranate tea before turning in for the night. A ritual from my childhood years. Even though coffee is my preferred hot beverage, I love hot tea on chilly nights.

When I was a little girl, my maternal grandmother would make a concoction known as Camper's Tea. It was part milk, part hot water and sugar. She made this tea so I could join her in our living room while she drank one of her special herbal teas.

My grandmother would go see a herbalist who was located in downtown. We would go to the building and ride up on the elevator to his office. I can still see him sitting in his chair. A thin man who wore a visor no matter what season it was. He was polite and friendly towards us. His office was surrounded with jars of herbs. Which he mixed with precession on a scale.

All you had to do was tell him your symptoms an leave the rest to him. My grandmother was a very private person. It was unusual to hear her openly discussing any aches or pains that she was experiencing.

The doctor had an Underwood Typewriter on his desk. I was always curious about this particular piece of machinery. It was a huge manual machine that covered a good size portion of the desk. He would peck out instructions once the herbs were ready and place the label on the package.

The teas were always wrapped in a yellow sheet of paper. I remember the folds were even and neat. My grandmother would pay him and place the packages inside of her purse and we would leave. I would press the button for the elevator and when it arrived we stepped on and the attendant would take us down to the ground floor.

I could count on having a cup of tea on the evening of those visits. My grandfather worked on the railroad and was often gone out on a run. She would heat water on the stove until is was boiling hot. Then she would mix my cup of tea and then hers. We would go into the front room and sit down to watch a television show while we sipped our tea.

Camper's Tea is like a form of sweet milk. I do not know what it is about the combination of ingredients that makes a person sleepy, but that is what happens. After finishing a cup, I would feel warm and full for the evening. It was long afterwards that I would begin to yawn and feel sleepy.

As I grew up, a cup of hot Lipton Tea always hit the spot. On extremely cold days, I find myself craving a cup of Lipton Tea. The original blend is difficult to find these days. Everybody is into green tea these days. I have my share of those teas too. But they do not hit the spot like the original blend does. I can drink a cup of Lipton Tea and feel very satisfied afterwards.

STILL AWAKE!

2011-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

I am still wide awake. I've been purging my material life in all day long and it feels good!

I decided to reduce the load of materials items that I own. I am going to recycle things that are still good enough to use. Hopefully, someone will adopt them and enjoy having whatever strikes their fancy.

It's always amazing to me how much a person can acquire in life. I try not to make frivolous purchases. I am unloading books, clothes and household items that I no longer use. I have also moved furniture around. Scrubbed and thrown away a whole lot of paper from work.

I know that it is time for me to wrap it up. I need some rest because tomorrow is work. Back to life--back to reality.

RETURN: REMEMBERING THE SABBATH DAY

2011-09-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a household that literally ground to a halt on Sundays. All we did for years was attend church, eat dinner and socialize with our family or neighbors. The idea of doing any more than resting was not acceptable.

Today, I have done my laundry for the week, cooked a meal, worked on purging some more unneeded items and a bevy of small tasks. Which is way more than my grandparents ever did on the Sabbath. Our dinner was usually prepared the night before, it was okay to prepare the meat portion of the meal, but everything else was usually ready to heat up and serve before we left the house.

I have had a difficult time creating the type of balance in my life that allows me to do nothing on Sunday. I am like a lot of working women who go to work on Monday tired from the weekend.

One of the goals that I am working towards is a return to do nothing but rest on Sunday. This is more than a notion when I consider that I currently work a full time and part time job plus attend classes. I am currently resting on Monday evenings which is not always a good thing. There are times when I have things that needed my attention, but I'm usually too tired to care.

When I attain this particular goal, it is my intention to spend Sunday afternoons reading, listening to music or taking a nap. I realized recently that there is a lot of wisdom in being still at least one day out of the week. I spent last Sunday doing nothing and it was wonderful!

I realize that I need to carefully examine the habits of my grandmother. She worked on a schedule at home during the week and by the time Sunday rolled around she was able to sit down and relax. I want to be in the same position by the end of the year.

RETURN;REVISTING MY ROCKING SATURDAYS

2011-09-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

I read one of my journals recently. I had devoted an entire Saturday afternoon to brooding over my life while listening to Steely Dan.

When I was married, we had an extensive collection of albums and cassette tapes. It was nothing for me to walk over the shelves and select an album that I wanted to hear and put it on the turntable.

I spent the entire afternoon listening to Steely Dan while sipping on coffee and writing for a couple of hours. It was truly a mental meltdown that I needed.

It has been a long time since I've sat down and just pulled out a collection of works by one particular artist and just listened to every song over and over. I haven't used a journal with an ink pen in a long time. Even though I still own new journals that are still as pristine as they were on the day that they were purchased. I think that my reluctance to let them go is due to the realities of technology. If the electric goes out, I can still write on paper which weighs considerably less than my laptop. A journal does not require a battery charge on a frequent basis.

I also suspect that the sense of relationship angst that seemed to be overshadowing my life is gone. Time does bring about a change in attitudes. I find myself looking back on these times and still wondering, why I thought trying to connect or repair a situation that was better left in the ruins was so damn important?

It would seem like Steely Dan would be an unlikely choice to help soothe over bruised feelings. The combination of a smooth rock and jazz fusion style plus lyrics featuring adult situations were good enough to make my inward trip tolerable.

I still listen to Steely Dan. I have made a serious effort to acquire previously released music to add into my collection. When I separated from the ex, I gave him the albums because I did not want to fight about which ones were mine or his. I ended up rebuilding my collection through cassette tapes. When Cd's became the mainstay of the music industry, I eventually removed all of my cassettes and replaced them with a CD play and discs.

Today I pulled out Steely Dan just because I was in the mood to listen to something smooth and with substance.

RETURN: SCHOOL DAYS

2011-09-02T23:38:00.000-07:00

The last weekend of summer is upon us. I plan to spend it in total self-indulgence.

I have a bottle of red wine chilling and over the course of the weekend, I will be having a glass or two with my meals. I have no intention of going outside in the current heat surge to cook anything unless the electric is off city-wide.

Labor Day is one of those holidays that I tend to avoid celebrating in the traditional cookout manner. I have been trying to remember what we did on this particular weekend during my childhood. Cookouts do not ring a bell within my memories. I suspect that all of the working people in my family probably just wanted to relax at home.

Traditional school begins next week. Summer session is now officially over and it is time to settle things down. I do not remember going to school until after Labor Day was over.

There were the rituals of preparation for the school year that occurred prior to school opening. Clothes shopping, the purchase of a new school bag and other necessities. I see children carrying back packs now and they look like they are little pack mules. Our bags were the type with just handles and a strap. We used a cigar box to store our pencils and other supplies in.

One of the major rituals prior to school starting was getting our hair pressed. This usually happened the weekend before opening day. Hot combs and blue flames were going all over the community.

If you have never had your hair hot combed, it is a beauty treatment that is not for the faint at heart. A comb with iron teeth is placed on a flame and when it gets hot, it is pulled through natural hair. The end result is straightened hair.

Hot combing hair was a weekend tradition for women in my generation. We all have stories about holding our ears while our hair was pressed. Burns that occur because of a sudden movement or a slight slip of the hand.

I spent many a Saturday evening in the kitchen of our home getting my hair pressed. I also spent many a Saturday at a salon waiting to have my hair pressed.

We did not wear beads on the ends of our braids. We wore ribbons and barrette's. I cannot imagine wearing any weave hair as a little girl. People use to grow heads of hair by different methods. I know friends who were wearing micro-braids long before they became fashionable because of the length of their hair. They would wear neat tiny braids that were visually amazing due their size and part patterns.

There are certain scents that always remind me of school. Starched clothes that were hung up in my closet. The aroma of a fresh box of Crayolas after the lid is open for the first time is another one of those triggers. Plus the scent of Ivory Soap and Jergens lotion remind me of preparing for school. I bathed in Ivory Snow and with a bar of Ivory Soap during my childhood. Ivory Snow is a powder that was actually used for laundry. It also was gentle enough to make a bubble bath and left your skin super soft.

Trying to go to sleep the night before school began was always a challenge. I do remember having a difficult time settling down for the night. It always seemed like morning came sooner than I wanted it to.

RETURN

2011-09-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Going back to spaces and places in the past is not a journey that everyone is comfortable with making. There are moments when pain resurfaces and it still has the power to be just as piercing as it was the first time. Just like feelings of joy have the power to refresh the mind with delight.

This month, I am going to share portions of my return journey. I am willing to expose moments when life was good and also when it reached a low point.

I honestly have no idea where my trek will take me. This is half of the fun of the trip. Revisiting moments that are still very much alive in mind. There are perspectives that I might find now that I missed then. This is one of the benefits of living for decades. As time goes by wisdom and knowledge present views that are acceptable or at the very least--understandable.

2011-06-04T18:49:00.000-07:00

On last Monday, it was nice enough outside for me to start my garden plot for this year.

I have a different plot again. This one is right next to the pump in our community garden. It is also a nice sized plot for an individual grower.

This year, it is all about the greens. I planted a lot of different types of lettuce. There is also collard greens, green beans, peas, broccoli and peppers in this plot.

This year, I found a real bargain this year, three cherry tomato starts for $1.00. These plants were on sale at the park conservatory and I couldn't resist purchasing them.

I did all seeds this year and that's different than my usual mix of plants and seeds. I am working on gardening in my classroom as well. I'm pretty excited about this because it provides me with an opportunity to pass along a skill that has true value in our society to another generation.

My children constructed a terrarium on Friday. They were really excited about this particular project. I have not created this type of growth environment in years. My late step-father exposed me to this type of gardening. He put together a terrarium in a bottle and just watching him, blew my mind! He used this three pronged tool to place the plants inside of the bottle. I watched as he placed the plants and added little touches.

My students had the benefit of a wide mouth bottle for their project. I wanted them to be able to put their hands inside of it. We added a rock and one of our plastic frogs inside once we were finished.

They use a camera whenever they want. These are the photos that they shot of the terrarium.

My class is known as the paparazzi at our center. They have shot over 500 photos since we first placed the camera in their hands in February.

I am going to do some serious sustainable planting at our center next week. I plan to do beans, lettuce in containers and teach the value of recycling and re-purposing items in the process. They are going to have to deal with the environment in a very different way than their elders have done. They need to know the fundamentals of gardening in case they want to select an alternative to mass produced food items.

It poured down rain here about an hour ago. I'm glad because my grounds needed to be soaked. I'll go out tomorrow and see how things are going.

THE DISRESPECT-I DON'T LIKE IT!

2011-04-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

I hate it when someone looks at me and smiles then says, "Young lady" blah, blah blah...

I am a Baby Boomer. Who is pushing towards 60 by God's grace. It is obvious by my physical apperance that I am not a "young lady".

This just happened to me recently in a grocery store and I found myself growing angry when the individual said it. I usually just smile back and continue to conduct my business. But it just hit my last nerve during this particular exchange and I made my feelings known.

People who are afraid of growing old are afraid to live. I am happy to be alive and I feel blessed because of the length of time that I have already lived. When I look back at the events in life that I have been a part of or created during my lifetime, being old has merit because I have done something with my life.

I told the young lady who called me a young lady. "I know that you think you're making me feel good by calling me a young lady. However, I have been a grown woman since 1974 and I am proud of that. I am a mature woman now. And quite frankly, I find this statement to be patronizing". The young woman looked stunned, then she shot back, "My mom told me that it is impolite to acknowledge an older persons age."

My response to her was very simple, "Your mama, misinformed you and it's time you got hip to the real deal."

This is a youth orientated society. I have no problem with living inside of it. Being in it and not of it, is not a problem to me. The fact that I have survived and have the grace of age to prove it, says a lot about the blessings that have been bestowed upon my life.

I am a mature lady. A grown woman for sure. I may be young at heart but I want to be addressed in a respectful manner. Being called a "young lady" is not what I want to hear.

BEFORE I LAY DOWN TO SLEEP

2011-04-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Before I lay down to sleep, I would like to have an open conversation with you.

First of all, thank you for each blessing that you bestowed upon me and my loved ones on this day.

Thank you for keeping me safe from all manners of danger and harm while I traveled about the city.

Thank you for blessing me with a sound mind and a capable body.

I would like to ask you to send your spirit of peace and comfort to me and my family members on this evening. Bless us to have a peaceful nights sleep. Keep watch over us, our friends and our neighbors.

If we are meant to rise up in the morning, please bless us to do so in a capable manner. Also in a timely manner so we can go forth into the new work week in a positive manner.

Bless the people that I do not know who are in distress. Send forth your spirit to these people and bless them with your loving kindness and presence.

There is so much trouble in our time. Wars, rumors of wars and all manners of chaos and confusion. There are people who are at odds everywhere. Please send your light and let it shine on those dark spaces.

I want you to be there for my mom. Bless her to be comforted and held by you. Help her to heal her heart over the passing of her help met.

Bless us to be productive in a positive manner.

Quiet the rumblings of discontentment. Help the men and women who are in leadership roles Bless them to be mindful that rules over humankind must be just and rule in the fear of God. Help them to make wise and just decisions.

I give you praise and thanks now. Because I know that you have heard every spoken word and every unspoken word.

In Jesus name
Amen

2011-04-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

When we would go shoe shopping in my childhood, my grandmother or mother would often buy my new shoes a half a size to a size larger so I could "grow into them".

I'm learning now that life is a lot like buying new shoes. There are some spaces that you've got to grow into. That pathway of growth helps you to walk in the mental shoes that will lead you through.

We buried my stepfather yesterday. He was 93 years old at the time of his death. For the past four years my mother has been by his side at the nursing care facility. Day in and day out, season to season, she has gotten up and headed over to spend the day with him. She has seen to his care and his physical comfort to the very end of his lifetime on earth.

This is an example of love and responsibility that has made a lasting impression her heirs.

My adult children have seen two profiles of a spouse extrodinaire. They are their mothers before them. My dad's wife moved in the same manner. It is the ultimate statement of I love you. The act of moving towards letting go on this side of the clouds.

I realized yesterday that my status as a little big mama is eventually going to transition or it is going to come to an end. No matter what God wills in my lifetime, this is the reality of my time and identity.

Growing into the grand matriarch of my family has been happening. However, the natural order of family denotes that my mothers before me are the recognized female heads of our family now. Our fathers are at their rest. We have the power of our memories and our upbringing to help us move through these times.

My mothers have set a high standard for living life up under the sun. I have those same values within me. Even when I do not always let them shine or work on the surface. The tendency to keep my light hidden is one that I am going to have to work on.

I am shooting for thirty posts this month. I missed the first day of the month because my body talk denoted that it was wiser to rest and replenish myself. I am not attempting to get the approval of any other blogger on the internet period. I am writing to give myself the opportunity of different perspectives. The theme for the NaBloPoMo is Sprouts.

I'm willing to write to discover what is growing up inside of my thoughts.

EARTH HOUR 2011

2011-03-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

ON A FULL MOON NIGHT IN MARCH

2011-03-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

It is another full moon night. This one is special because the moon is nice and full of light. It has been dubbed the super moon because of its closeness to Earth.

I tend to study the behavior of people during the full moon. I have found over the years that many people who are tweakie acting-go full tilt during these times.

In my hometown there is a sense of uneasiness circulating in the air. I decided to head home before the street lights came on to chillout. Instead of assuming a relaxed position, I decided to do something for myself. In this case-something is housework.

This past week has been filled with a lot of demands on my personal time. I had to attend events in no was not a RSVP option.

My thoughts have been shifting towards gardening. It is about time to start making concrete plans for this season of growing. I am thinking that this year's crop will be different varieties of lettuce, greens, green beans, tomatoes and cabbage.

This is the year that I want to restore my house plants. I use to have a nice collection of green plants in my home. A fire in the building ended their lives. The smoke damage was too much for them and they all died. I did manage to save a tree that belonged to a neighbor. However, it died when we returned to this building. I realized recently that the absence of living plant matter needs to be altered. There is nothing like having a nice collection of house plants to brighten up a dull environment.

My middle son is going to have outpatient surgery on Monday. He has a problem with a cyst that needs to be totally corrected. I hope and pray that all goes well for him before, during and after the surgery by God's grace.

WRITING MYSELF SANE

2011-03-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

Writing myself sane.

It is early a.m. in my portion of the union. I have been struggling inwardly with achieving balance between work and school. Right now, things are like a teeter totter. The combined weight seems to be winning the motion contest.

I have been tired for the past few days. I have crashed out early and have not accomplished a lot. At least this is how it seems when I look back on my daily accomplishments. In reality, I have done a lot during my waking hours. But, the focus of what I have done is not inclusive. That is what I need for it to be in order for me to feel comfortable.

This is a reality that is not beyond my capabilities. I can and will level things out. I believe that the answers that I need on how to do this will be supplied.

SWEET IN THE MORNING

2011-03-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

I have reached that point in my thoughts where the world weariness has begun to shed itself off of me.

The removal of the weight on my heart has made me feel like I'm being held the embrace of comfort and peace. That is the mindset that I was journeying towards. That peace that surpasses the understanding of those who limit their perspective to the realm of circumstances.

This is a place that was prepared for my spirit/woman/self to retreat. My personal place in the Universal Mansion.

A table has been prepared for me. My host is ever present and knows all of my wants and wishes. I am welcomed to commune there as long as I want with encouragement to replenish myself.

This is a form of sweetness that no human produced product can provide. A sweetness that totally satisfies those who have an appetite for its pleasure.

I want to feel the fullness of it inside of me and all around me on this day. I want to spread it out into this life I am living like it is fresh butter on a slice of warm bread.

A VIEW FROM THE HILLS

2011-03-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

I needed to take myself up into the hills for the opportunity to gain a different perspective of direction for my colored/woman/self.

So, I took myself spirit woman self up into that place where the concerns and cares of this world were not totally filling the atmosphere with their impish rumblings and chaotic spurts of events.

My kinswomen Wisdom and Knowledge attend to my needs. I need to have a spiritual spa day. A day that is filled with the essence of uplifting and balancing out my spirit, mind and personal environment.

INVOCATION TO PEACE

2011-03-13T07:17:00.001-07:00

FOR MY FATHERS BEFORE ME

2011-03-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

My fathers before me have not forsaken their daughters or their sons. They still stand proudly in the face of adverse times with the confidence that their Creator had made them from the dirt of the original man.

They are still moving through my memories. Standing on their own beliefs and answering the demand to bow down before another man with a firm NO! in action. They held their own manhood as an example of they were. The belief that our fathers were always broke down and incapable is the image of a defeat in the midst of adversity.

Our Creator was the source of their supply. They produced a family life that was worth living. They provided out of life and their own capabilities. No weapons formed against them truly prospered. Nor did they measure their worth in terms of the left to right figures on their paychecks.

They stood on the rock of faith that God can and God will provide for his people. They understood that they were created to be an instrument of praise and productivity by God's grace and design.

FOR MY MOTHERS BEFORE ME

2011-03-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

My mothers before me have been on my thoughts throughout this past week. Their pearls of wisdom have been extended out to me. I have accepted their gifts and give thanks for the wisdom that has flowed from their spirits into mine.

Our Creator has shown us mercy and grace from generation to generation. Each one of us has been transformed from a believer into a living witness of how goodness, mercy and grace fills life with blessing and blessing.

We are eternal kinswomen through Wisdom and Knowledge.

They have given praise and thanks for the blessings that flow from the Creators abundant storehouse. The windows and doors have been opened towards our households. We have rejoiced in being a virtuous woman.

We have been steadfast and unmovable in the time of trouble on the rock of faith that God can and God will provide all that is needed.

PRELUDE TO PEACE MAKING ON A SUNDAY MORNING

2011-03-13T06:47:00.000-07:00

It is a good time to call on the ancestors. They are ever present in our lives. We have but to reach into our memories and they are still there. Still moving about and providing guidance for these days in our time.

There is so much trouble in our time. Chaos, confusions and disasters abound. There are wars and the rumours of more to come. The friction of dissent has set off a wildfire among the people of this world. A true hunger for the freedom to move about whenever they get ready has been unleashed.

The ongoing national anthem is the blues. Everybody seems to have some version of them. It isn't easy being broke, hungry or homeless and a whole lot of folks are always just one paycheck away from this status. Reality bites hard and leaves a nasty wound on the soul that is not easily healed.

The good news is there is always balm available to apply on those wounds. There is sanctuary in the time of stormy weather. A place where the hungry, the homeless, the tired and the poor can go to be renewed and refreshed in spirit. A place where the troubles of this world can be expressed in the most personal and intimate terms into the listening ear of our Creator.

There has been so much rumbling this week in the atmosphere. The tears of a nation and the world have soaked the soil of the planet. We have seen devastation and death moving through the lives of people. There is no way to look upon these moments with indifference. The magnitude of the carnage has the power to reach in past being numb to its existence to touch our souls.

FIRING UP FOR FRIDAY!

2011-03-11T03:56:00.000-08:00

It is almost time to start preparing to roll out to wrap up the work week. A sistah like myself is tired and looking forward to bringing this week to an end.

There is so much pain and sorrow in the atmosphere. On this day in the world's story there are people who are caught in the midst of natural disasters, war and the devastation those events create.

Our Winter of Discontentment is about to give birth to a stormy Spring. It might be the social laxative that we need to remove the apathy and irritation that friction generates when it only burst in small wildfires that are quickly doused out by extremism.

It is definitely time to prepare to stand strong and keep watch on how the world turns.

'Dear God,

As we go through this day of trauma and sorrow, bless us to be mindful that there are people in this world who are experiencing a painful moment in their lives.

Bless the souls that have returned to your care. Bless their loved ones who mourn the loss of a loved one in their midst.

Lift up the spirits of your people and revive them with the comfort of your peace. Bless them to be encircled with love and light that helps to soothe away all their pains.

Bless us to be a wiser and more appreciative group of people. We have so much and there are people who have little or nothing in their lives.

Please send us the gift of your angels on this day. Bless us to have their presence all around us. Open our ears and our eyes so we can see mercy and grace as it unfolds in our lives. Bless us to hear to sound of laughter or the joy inside of a heartfelt song.

Bless us to go out into this world and have a productive day. Let us be rest assured that we are sheltered and guided by your loving kindness and ever present spirit.

Lift us up in Jesus name to be blessed abundantly and move us to share our blessings with others.

Amen

BALANCE

2011-02-06T22:40:00.000-08:00

Balance

I have been toppling over in my mind.

Free falling without the benefit of a safety net below me.

Tumbling over due dates and must do moments.

With a degree of clumsiness that I did not know that I possessed.

Awkwardness floods my abilities. Suddenly my can do ability is rendered inactive. I am in limbo and content to be there.

I cannot think past the moment or the printed words on the screen. Meanings of words are like another language that I do not recognize.

This moment is a signal that I need to regain balance.

A true sense of myself that has become towed under from the weight of demands. I know that it is time to make adjustments in my life.

Some of my moments of time have to be mine. And I must decide how those moments will be spent on my well-being and happiness.

Dear God,

I need you to help me regain a sense of balance in my life.
You created the day and night. Set the number of hours in a day. Then balanced out when we should be productive and when we should rest.

Help me to balance out my time in a manner that will be productive and satisfying.

In Jesus name, I pray

Amen

2011-01-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

Weeping endures just for one night.
Joy, it comes in the morning light.

It is sweet in the morning! Especially when have that sense that no matter what opens up on this day, it is well within your soul.

2011 has arrived

2011-01-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

I have spent the first day of the new year being productive. I am thankful for the blessing of capability and means on this day.

During the day, I have been listening to a lot of music. "Invocation" by Bobby McFerrin has stuck in my head all day long.

It has been a day of renewal and re commitment. I do not make resolutions at the beginning of the year. My resolutions are made on an as-needed-bases. Those needs are not confined to the end of one year and the beginning of the next year.

This has been a good day for me to collect my personal thoughts. I have had little time to mull over what is on the inside of my sista/woman head trip.

I've been deep into an audio book over the weekend. Half The Sky Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. It has been quite an educational and thought provoking read.

My major is going to be Business Psychology. This is where my previous coursework meshes well. I have a nice level of completed hours that work well with this major. I am enrolled in a Management course and a Web authoring course this semester. I am hoping that my work experience and my work as a blogger helps me out. I've been doing research on both topics and reading to the point of tears. Seriously. My eyes water like crazy when they have had enough print exposure for the day. I shed tears last night like there was something wrong. Alternating between my laptop and a textbook is a lot of work for my eyes. I have new glasses and they work just fine. I think that when I am sleepy, my eyes respond by watering.

I was blessed to get a full 8 hours of sleep. It was wonderful! I woke up feeling like a brand new being. One of the adjustments that I have had to make is in the area of time. I kept long hours like semester. I am going to do all that I can to avoid repeating that same pattern this semester.

By God's grace, I am hoping that I can stay the course and produce what I need to during the next six weeks. These short term courses are time consuming.

I hope and pray that you and your loved ones had a positive beginning to your new year.

Taking a moment to say thanks!

2010-12-23T03:22:00.000-08:00

It has been almost a month since I've had time to sit down and post on this particular blog. A lot has happened and my time is too limited to share it all.

I am on a short break from school. My coursework syllabus will be available tonight as 12:01 a.m. for the next semester.
However, I intend not to even think about looking at it until Sunday or Monday after work.

I really wanted to take time to give thanks to God for blessing my going out and my coming back in over the past month. Winter weather hit here early this year. It has been rough on a sistah to get up and out in the mess.

This is the last day of the work week for me. I am so looking forward to calling it a wrap! I have plenty to accomplish before my family arrives for our traditional Christmas Day breakfast. I just hope that the weather holds up until I have completed my out of the house tasks.

Dear God,

Surely your goodness and mercy has followed me as I ventured about the city. Thank you for blessing me to go and return in safety. Thank you for blessing me to accomplish all that is now in my completed column.

As this week comes to an end at the work place, please bless me to do all that I need to on this day.

Please bless my loved ones as they move about this city. Watch over us, bless us in abundance with your safe keeping.
In Jesus name I pray
Amen.

GIVING THANKS

2010-11-28T18:18:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

I want to give thanks for the blessing of protection and traveling grace. You blessed my loved ones from being harmed on the road on Thursday. The incident that took place could of injured my loved ones. By your grace, they were kept out of harm's way.

There is a family in my hometown who is mourning the loss of three of its members. I am asking you to bless them in this time of grief and sorrow to comfort them. Embrace them and hold them close to your spirit.

Please continue to watch over us, our family and our friends. Keep us safe from all manner of danger and harm. Watch over us as we sleep and keep watch over our neighbors as well. Bless us to have pleasant dreams and a good night's sleep.

Thank you for all that you have done on our behalf. Thank you for the blessings that have been bestowed upon us.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

2010-11-14T09:23:00.000-08:00

It is a perfect autumn afternoon. I am having a moment of luxury on the last day of my 56th year of life. This year, my chapter has been the retelling of a survivors tale.

I'm thankful that my story has a the seasoning of blessings all over it! Otherwise, my chapter this time around might have been one of anguish and despair. By God's grace, I have been blessed to move on through to a time such as this.

I am taking time away from studying what the institution has decided is good brain food, to do some studying about myself.

This life that I have been given to live-it has some kind of wonder surrounding it. I have to give thanks for the doors that have opened. I want to also give thanks for the doors that have closed behind me.

I have been blessed to see the beauty of the sun as it crowns in the east. I have also stopped to marvel over the beauty of a sun set sky laced with candy colored clouds hanging over the skyline.

My going out and my coming back in has been blessed with safety. I give thanks for traveling mercy and grace. Because there is a family somewhere in this world-feeling the pain of injury or death to their loved ones. My family has been passed over and I give thanks for the blessing of life.

This is a fast paced world that we live in. Sometimes we become foolish enough to believe that if we had more hours, everything would be accomplished. That is a belief of those who are over committed and determined to be that way. This race is not given to the swift and neither will the battle go to the strong...this is an endurance run. It is not about how quickly you cross the finished line. It is the fact that you did cross the finish line.

Tomorrow, I will celebrate the anniversary of my birth date. I really wish that I could have the day off from work. But, that is not possible at this particular time. I will be rolling into the my part of the urban plantation, uniformed up and ready to go to work.

I am thankful for the opportunity to be self sufficient and able to still be a productive individual. I am in the process of bringing things into a more manageable flow. Which is a whole helluva a lot of work! But, I am a capable woman and this too shall pass.

Today, is a day to reflect on the life that I have lived this past year. It has been blessed even when the very foundation seemed to be broken and in need of total restoration. The words of peace be still, have been spoken into my spirit's ear. I believe that it could be and it has been so. I give praise and thanks for that also.

FALL BACK TIME MEMORIES

2010-11-07T01:12:00.000-07:00

It is the first day of the Fall Back season. I am a happy woman! Over the past few days I have been anticipating this day.

On the way to this moment, memories of a sista/friend of mine have been flowing across my mind. During her time on earth we would be giddy with anticipation for this day. You would of thought that we had hit the lottery or that we were having an early Christmas.

We would often be hanging out on the phone until the designated hour. Watching the digital read out on our cable boxes like it was the ball at Times Square on New Year's Eve. When 2 a.m. flipped back to 1 a.m. we would cheer and fall out laughing. The lost hour was ours until the dreaded Spring Ahead date came back around.

Back then we were active working mothers. Raising our sons and making our way into becoming middle aged women. Those were often turbulent days for us as individuals. I had divorced my husband and had three sons to raise. She had her only manchild. We both pooled our resources to survive the difficult days. We spent hours on the phone talking about shows on television, bitching about work conditions and talking trash about the different men who were swooping in and out of our lives.

My sista/friend passed one morning in May. I never had the opportunity to say good-bye to her. Or even to thank her for being a friend. I have wished many a day that I had her shoulder to cry on. Or that we could slip out and go grab a late evening snack at Roosters. I wish that I could pick up the phone and hear her say, "what's happening?" as we prepared to settle down for a chat.

I especially miss her during this time of the year. I'm a November child and she was a December child. We often joked about how our Gemini children could not even comprehend the mentality of their mothers. She often teased my October born child just to tip his scales a little.

It's funny, I cannot remember the date of her passing. When I got the news, the pain numbed all of my senses. I cannot honestly say how many years she has been resting in the presence of our Lord.

Honestly, I don't think that those details matter. What does matter is the memories that I have of our friendship. Those memories are still very much alive. Tonight, I am celebrating that aspect of our lives. It's fall back time! Time to catch that hour I've lost all during the spring and summer season.

NOW THAT THE STORM HAS PASSED US OVER.......

2010-10-27T03:33:00.000-07:00

Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. I love to look at the trees go through their transition. The different colored leaves are really pretty. Plus the crunching sound underneath my feet is comforting. It is familiar and it has been a part of the soundtrack of my life time. On my walk to work I often find myself kicking through a pile of leaves just like I did during my childhood. I'm not the only adult who does this. No one seems to notice because it is just something we do in this part of the nation.

Fall also brings with it heavy rains. The drops are cold and often it rains for long periods of time. Yesterday, we had one helluva a storm blow through. The storm warning system was on full blast and we had to wake up the children and take them to our safe space. At one point during the storm the skies were almost black. It rained so hard that it was difficult to make out what the landscape looked like. There was a tornado in our area. I don't think that it touched down. There were high winds blowing prior to the start of the rain.

People who move to the O-State from regions where this type of weather is not the norm often find this pattern to be intimidating and scary. I have a healthy respect for nature because its force can be beautiful-yet deadly. People try to act like they are stronger than the elements. I have learned that there is a time when you don't duck for cover. Then there are times when you need to be smart enough to find someplace to ride it out.

When I arrived home from work, I discovered one of my windows had blown open. I have the type of windows that you can open inside to clean the outside glass. I was giving thanks that the glass did not break. It was warm prior to the storm. It was chilly and raining very hard by the time I arrived home. I closed the window and fixed myself some soup to take off the chill.

It was rough day weather-wise. However, I give thanks to God for protecting me and my loved ones from all manners of harm.

HERE IN THIS MOMENT WITH MYSELF

2010-10-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

I watched sunrise crown in the eastern skies this a.m. The feeling of down-to-the-bone tired is still lingering on my body. I worked like a field darky yesterday. I was exhausted when I finally returned home. I ate, soaked and went to sleep.

Fall is in full swing. It is now dark when I rise and it is getting dark earlier in the evening. I am so ready for the time to fall back. I want to smack the individual who decided to alter the time once again. November cannot arrive fast enough for me. I am so ready to reclaim the hour that I feel is lost when we spring ahead.

I am missing blogging a lot. It is really difficult to fit it into my time schedule. I am hoping that in the upcoming weeks, I can get things balanced out to the point where I can post at least once a day again. I really have been struggling to keep things moving on My Brown Eyed View and this blog as well.

Next weekend, I have plans to spend at least one hour in my garden plot. It is time to cut down the seasonal growth and cultivate whatever might have grown since I was last there. I have some Cilantro that I want to dry for the winter. I plan to add it to some of my dishes during the winter season.

I'm going to whip up some chili today. Straight from scratch. It is time to think warm food and spicy is always in fashion.

I've got to get up and get ready to go to church.
Have an interesting day.

BEFORE I HEAD OUT TODAY

2010-10-19T04:00:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Before I head out today, I wanted to take time to express myself.

The past few weeks have been filled with swift transitions. Things are in the process of moving onto higher grounds, as usual, the movement is creating a disruption. Which is fine because what needs to fall off has to occur. I am trying to be patient while you make the needed changes. There have been some truly trying moments while those changes occur. Please bless me to be mindful that you know exactly what needs to happen.

My people have some serious needs that have to be met. You are the source of our supply. I am asking on their behalf for the blessing of full fulfillment for their overall benefit. Open up the doors and the windows inside of your universal storehouse and let the blessings flow into their lives.

Please watch over us today as we travel to and from work or other destinations. I am asking that before I arrive at work today that my classroom be cleansed of all the negativity that has gathered there. Set forth a peaceful atmosphere that includes joy, positive interactions and positive results.

Touch the children's little spirits with a large dose of peace. Touch their parents with an even larger dose of peace.

Give us all reasons to smile, laugh and to give thanks for the blessings that you bestow to us.

In Jesus name, I pray
Amen

UNTWISTING MY HEAD FOR A MOMENT

2010-10-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am in a Baby Boomer frame of mind this morning. Which suits my personal mood very well. It is time for me to have a moment off of the coast of myself.

This life that I am living as a working class, undergrad student is not easy. However, I am feeling that the money and time that is being invested in earning my degree has been well spent so far. Just trying to be successful at actually being that woman has been an education worth pursuing.

My student/woman/self is demanding that her presence actually have serious space in my personal life. Which is not that difficult for me to grasp. It is difficult for me to spend the needed blocks of time to create that comfort zone. It has been happening slowly every weekend and sometimes during the week. Eventually it will all come together. That will be a for real life is good moment for me.

I have been busy the past few weeks. I almost feel guilty when I actually take time to do something else other than studying. That's a feeling that I have not had to contend with in awhile. It really annoys me because the whole time there is this nagging inner tick, that keeps reminding me that I have home work to do.

I actually began this post this morning. I was sitting down, chilling over a cup of perfect coffee. Trying to give myself some needed down time. It worked for about half an hour, then it was a wrap. I had to get up and start moving towards finishing some of the goals that I had set for today.

Originally, I wanted to listen to Billie Holiday sing "Autumn in New York". I simply love her rendition of this song. I have a bunch of music by her, but not this particular cut. I have been humming this tune off and on during the day. Billie sets the mood with her unique phrasing style.
I think this is the perfect song for an autumn day.

MY LIFE AS AN UNDERGRADUATE STUDENT

2010-10-10T04:50:00.000-07:00

It is the coffee hour in my part of the Union. I'm sitting here working on a playlist that willl be cranking up full blast later on today.

I am now an official undergraduate student. My status changed from applicant to enrolled student last month. It has been difficult re-adjusting my lifestyle to include working-student.

I also enrolled into a school that does not have an educational degree. I felt that it was the best decision for my future plans. The school that I attend is geared to the adult working class. It is a demading program. My first course was an introduction to the expectations of being a student at Franklin University. In three weeks time, I had to produce papers, power point presentations, teach myself how to use Word 2007, add a USB to my tech gear and learn how to scan documents.

I have also had to learn how to access databases, format an APA style paper and how to read results from Turnitin.com.

This aspect of my educational experience made me realize that I really had to do some serious re-working of my space and tech capabilities. All of my course work has inter net ties.

At first it was intimidating. I was having difficulty adjusting to the idea that when the first session of a class meets, assignments are due. The syllabus has been available prior to the start up date. As an online student, it is my responsibility to log in, read the information, then type and deliver via the drop box.

This has been the first weekend that I actually am level with my course work demands. I have an assignment due by midnight tonight. I have about two hours worth of work to complete and it's a wrap! The subject is Environmental Science. I am learning so many interesting and useful facts. However, it is a demanding course with a heavy reading load and lots of production work.

I am thankful for the opportunity to finish up my degree work. This is a personal goal of mine. One that I have been moving towards for the past four years. I firmly believe that when the student is ready the teacher(s) appear. This is really the best time for me to indulge myself with higher learning. I am feeling a lot more confident than I was during the past month.

There is a lot of support for the student body. There are on line tutorial courses. Live lectures that you can sign up to participate in prior to taking a course. I'm trying to avoid getting into any math heavy majors. I am okay with the level of skills that I developed while attending Columbus State. Math is a stress subject for me. If I have to take a course, I will definitely lighten my coursework load that part of the trimester.

This aspect of what I have learned is good personal knowledge. My mindset about being a student again is beginning to emerge once again. It is my goal to have a new study space up and working by the end of this month.

I am going to be doing some serious feng shui over the next few weekends. I want to change things around to make it easier on me.

HARLEM QUARTET

2010-09-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

I love all types of good music. It is a good day when I discover an individual artist or group that works out of this genre.

Harlem Quarter with the Spinhx Orchestra

DOING SOME AFRO ZEN GARDENING

2010-09-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

I am giving thanks tonight for the blessings of reassurance. Being able to draw from God's promises in times when it seems that there are sudden mountains restricting my progress.

There is a time when everyone needs to do some mountain talking. An out right spiritual assault on that block that seems to rise up to create havoc. The word of God instructs us to speak to the mountain-and the mountain will move. i fully believe that this is true. That confidence comes from having done a fair share of mountain moving talk in my day.

No weapon formed against me will prosper. I fully believe this and I am declaring this evening that God is for me and there is no one powerful enough to successfully stand against me. They have the power to form the weapon but that does not mean it will be used to undermine my progress. i am declaring that my Creator is a keeper of His word! Lies does not come forth from His word. Whatever He has declares to be true will manifest in due time and due season.

I am claiming peace in abundance this evening. That is what I desire the most this evening. Peace of mind that cannot be over turned just because there is an attempt to knock me off balance.

In the name of Jesus, I am claiming an upright spirit of faith that whatever needs I have at this time will be fulfilled.

LATE EVENING THOUGHTS

2010-09-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

"This Bitter Earth/The Nature of Daylight"
Dinah Washington

I heard this song while listening to the radio tonight. It is so beautiful. I love lyrics that provoke you to think and question the status quo.

This has been a week of adjustments for me. I have had to work extra hard on resetting my crazy bio clock. Which hasn't been too hard. I want to make sure that I have plenty of rest to help me meet the demands of my schedule.

It has been crazy hot here. I haven't been able to make it to my garden plot for the past three days. I've had two on line courses to view. Plus the heat has been stifling in the evening. When I get off from work tomorrow I plan to check on my plants. I'm sure they are in need of a good soaking.

All is well in my part of the world. That is such a peaceful feeling. By God's grace, I am able to just sit and relax before the net round of the must do cycle begins.

I hope and pray that for the next few days things remain on an even keel.

MOVING TO THE RHYTHM OF LIFE

2010-09-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

I am looking forward to the end of this week.
A three day weekend is exactly what I need. There is a lot that needs to be accomplished over the next few days.

My desire to return to school is about to open up as a reality. My classes begin next week. I am pretty excited about this. I have already participated in a couple of pretty good on line pre-courses. Which is helping me to gear my mind towards classes and producing work.

Dear God,
I give you thanks for blessing me to see this day begin and end. I give thanks for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. I also give thanks for helping me to move through different challenges that have sprung up during the day.

I also give thanks for the openings that you have provided for me. I truly appreciate each door that has opened up in my life. I ask that you bless me to use these opportunities wisely and that I move forth in a timely manner.

In Jesus Name
Amen

THOUGHTS AT THE END OF THE DAY

2010-08-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

I set up my classroom today. It was an all day process. I was thinking that an 8 hour work day really requires a lot of human energy. The hours went by quickly and we achieved a lot during the time we were working.

When I hear people say that there are not enough hours in a day-I think that they are frustrated with their personal work load and how much has not been accomplished. I suspect that even if there were hours added to a day there would still be times when everything that has to be done would not be completed.

I left work tired as can be. I came home fixed a sandwich and too a long nap. Which was not necessarily a good thing because I had a blogging post due today. I got back up after sleeping about three to four hours and produced the post.

My coursework CDs arrived today. I have an assignment due the first day of class. Which is only three weeks long. I haven't viewed the information yet. That is on my agenda for the weekend.

I am about to go back to bed in about an hour. I have to get up in the a.m. and go to work. I am thankful that my job is three hours long. I don't know if I could hold up if more was required of me.

I am looking forward to coming back home and doing some more domestic work. I have been washing walls, rearranging and purging like crazy. I plan to wrap up another phase of this chore tomorrow.

It felt good clocking in today. I have been out of a job since March of this year. I really have to give thanks a praise to God for blessing me to make it through this phase. I am so glad that I have been able to surivive during this time.

Dear God,

Please bless those who are currently working through natural disasters. Bless them to find sanctuary in a safe place. Bless them to be fed and cared for by caring people.
Bless those who have lost their loved ones, their homes and their means of survival to be fully restored in due time and in due season.

Bless those who are engaged in warfare. Bless them to be safe and to return to their loved ones with a knowledge that this is not the best way for people to resolve their differences. Watch over our loved ones who are stationed through out the world. Bless the individuals who are in charge and in leadership roles to make wise and compassionate decisions.

Watch over the individuals who are out on the streets of this nation. Bless them to find shelter and fulfill their needs. Lift up their spirits and bless them to know that they are not alone.

Comfort those who are mourning. Touch their hearts and minds with your peace. Let them know that they are not alone and that all is well even during this time of sorrow.

Thank you for blessing my going out and my return. Also for blessing my family and friends to move about safely.
Watch over us while we slumber. Keep us safe of all manner of danger and harm. Bless us to rest and to be restored.

In Jesus name I pray
Amen

LATE EVENING THOUGHTS

2010-08-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I would like to give thanks for the blessings that you have bestowed upon me and my loved ones on this day. I appreciate all that you have done for us.

Thank you for the gift of working senses. Tonight's full moon was so beautiful. I appreciate being able to see it.
I thank you for the ability of a capable body and mind.

Tomorrow members of my family will gather to lay someone that they love to rest. Bless those who attend the celebration of life to be comforted and uplifted in their spirits. Bless those who attend that service to be touched by your loving kindness and mercy. Bless each person to leave there knowing that you were right there in their most painful and difficult moment.

If it is in your will for my life, bless me to rise up on time and able to move about. Bless my day to filled with positive and productive activities.

While we are asleep tonight please keep watch over us, our loved ones and our neighbors. Keep us safe from all manner of danger or harm. Restore our bodies and bless us to rise up with renewed minds.

Bless those who need to have guidance from the universe to see your light. Help them to move onto the pathway that will lead them to an open door. Then gracious close those doors that are behind them.

I give you thanks now for what you are going to do for me and my loved ones on tomorrow.

In Jesus name I pray
Amen

SOME ZAP MAMA ON A FULL MOON NIGHT

2010-08-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

Zap Mama has become one of my favorite female vocal groups. I love their harmonies and their vocal energy.

"Brriak

"Sweet Sweet Melody"

"New World"

There's nothing like listening to some excellent music. I have had a busy day today. I went to orientation for my new job today. I like what I've experienced so far. That's a good sign.
I didn't go over to my garden plot today. I am hoping to make it home before it rains tomorrow to see how are things are coming along.

God has blessed me with the opportunity to make some needed additional money at my church. I am going to work in the evening for a couple of nights while the regular door keeper is on vacation. I am truly thankful for this opportunity.

I hope and pray that I get a good night's rest and that I rise up prepared to face the day with a renewed mind and body.

ARE WE EVER GOING TO SEE THE LIGHT?

2010-08-23T21:34:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I am coming before you tonight in prayer for 200 people that I have never met. This group consists of women, young girls and even little boys. Each one of these people have been raped repeatedly as an act of war.

They need your spirit of comfort and they need your compassion to remove the wedge of negativity that now surrounds them. You know how people often look at situations like this. Instead of comforting the victims-they receive the rebuke and blame.

I am asking you to bless them to heal over this attack. Bless them to receive the best care possible for their physical and mental well-being. Lay hands on their wounded spirits and repair their sense of hope.

I know that you have declared that we have to pray for our enemies. I also know that you have clearly declared that vengeance belongs to you. I hope and pray that in due time and due season-justice will be served.

In Jesus Name I pray
Amen

NOCTURAL INTERLUDES

2010-08-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here enjoying the night song of life. There are crickets and cicadas singing out into the darkness under the full moon. Those are sounds that often are drowned out due to the noise of human beings moving about. It is nice to be able to just sit and listen without interruptions.

I am glad to be able to hear the sounds of life outside of my window. There is something reassuring about the sounds of summer nights. Especially after a long hot day. It seems that when things cool off and quiet down the true meaning of summer time is obvious.

Dear God,

I give you praise and thanks for the blessings that you have bestowed upon me today. I am glad that I was able to hear a beautifully crafted sermon today. The lessons that were shared have filled my spirit with praise and gratitude.

Thank you for the blessing of working senses. I appreciate being able to hear and to see the beauty of your work here on the planet.

Thank you for blessing me and my family to be safe and secure in our homes tonight. Thank you for the spirit of peace and comfort that has reached each one of us. I give you praise for the gift of safe passage going out and coming back in.

Thank you for providing all that we needed on this day in our lives. Your goodness, mercy and grace has been ample and sufficient.

Bless those who seek you out at this time. Let them know that they are under your care. Open their eyes and ears so they can hear from you and see your presence in their lives.

Help those who are struggling in this life to be uplifted in mind, body, soul and all other areas of their lives.

Please keep watch over us while we sleep. Keep watch over our friends and our neighbors. Bless us all to have a good night's rest. Restore our physical bodies while we rest.

Bless us all to rise in the morning with capable bodies and minds. Help us to move in a timely manner and to be of good cheer while we do so.

In Jesus name I pray
Amen

A PHOTO OF THREE GENERATIONS

2010-08-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

We attended a community festival today. This is a photo of me, my mom and our granddaughter Princess B. We had a good time just hanging out and enjoying ourselves.

I went to my garden plot today and picked more beans, tomatoes and lettuce. My plants had grown a nice yield of green and purple beans. I'm going to cook the beans tomorrow for dinner.

It was a good day in my life. I am glad that I was able to spend time with my family.

IT IS SO PEACEFUL HERE

2010-08-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

My new position search has finally come to an end. I will begin my job in one week. I'm truly thankful for the relief that this has brought to me. I feel really good about the new site and I'm thankful that it is close to my home and to the school I will we attending in a couple of weeks.

I gave thanks and praise every step of the way home. It has been difficult over the course of time without a steady paycheck or even unemployment. I thank God for all of the help that was sent to me during this time. I have learned a lot during this time about moving on the power of blind faith.

The peace of mind that this has brought to me feels good. I woke up and the sense of fretting that has been gnawing at my thoughts has been dismissed. In its place is a true sense of calmness. It feels great and I am truly thankful for the blessing.

I learned yesterday that one of my tomato plants has blight. I am not surprised. A lot of the tomato plants have the same problem. It was too hot to go over to my plot today. When I finish at the food pantry tomorrow, I plan to go over and see how my bean plants are doing and if there are more beans to pick. I also plan to harvest more tomatoes and corn. I had tomatoes and green beans this evening. They were so good.

I have seven days to tie up my current loose ends. By God's grace, I hope and pray that I utilize my time wisely.

FOR THE SOWERS OF BAD SEEDS

2010-08-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

There are sowers of bad seed moving in our midst. Determined to spread the weeds of hate any where that there are willing laborers to nurture them into maturity. These sowers are willing to use the guise that they are acting in a righteous manner to hide their ugly spirited ways.

They speak as if they are in possession of a higher knowledge than everyone else. Those who are of alike minds nod in agreement. Spread more seeds wherever they go. Work hard to help those seeds sprout up in rebellion because of other people's differences.

They declare that they are Christians. I cannot dispute their identification claim. They would only provide the proof of how they know what the word of God declares. That display of their Biblical knowledge by repeating the scriptures that justify their actions.

They want to do harm to others. They believe that this is your will for them to carry out. They believe that they can disrespect others and it will be to your glory. Even though the people that they have singled out have done nothing except live their lives up under the sun. They are being marked for sacrifice because the sowers of the seeds believe that this is their right.

It seems that they have forgotten that Jesus asked forgiveness for those who had trespassed against him. He asked that they be blessed even though those around him were causing him great pain and agony.

This lesson is one that seems to be alien to the way that the sowers think. They are preaching the doctrine of fear instead of the doctrine of loving others.

AMAZING GRACE

2010-08-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

There are moments when I am reminded that sweet grace is my traveling companion. We move along through the good days and the ones that are filled with turmoil.

It is grace that keeps my hope alive. Even during those times when I am tired and frustrated. Grace reaches out and touches my weary mind and the weight lessens.

There are days when I find myself searching the skies for a sign or answer to a question. Grace whispers softly into my ear that I will understand it better bye and bye. That use to puzzle me-until I had one of those moments. Then it all became so very clear to me.

I give thanks on this day for all that I was blessed to accomplish. I give thanks for traveling mercy. I also give thanks for being of sound mind and fit body.

This has been a productive day. I set out to accomplish a goal and by God's grace my plan came together. I give thanks for this moment. It has renewed my mind and filled me with the light of infinite possibilities in my life.

Too often we are caught up in the moment. Our attention is distracted by the events of the day. We forget that we are often not in control of what goes on around us. Our decisions or lack of decisions leads us into many different directions. Often when we arrive a point where there seems to be no exit from stress, the door opens and Grace beckons us to step through a situation with ease.

I have been atuned to the higher vibe of the universe today. I have given thanks and praise for the beauty of this day. I ate a good meal and took a walk after dinner. The sky was covered in royal blue and the almost full moon stood looking down on me. I stopped for a moment to take in the splendor and perfection of the evening. There are people who have never seen a moment such as this. But they have seen the presence of Grace as she walks beside them.

Tomorrow morning I hope to rise up once again. To be able to move about and to think in a clear headed manner. I hope that I'm able to look out of the window and see the sun standing in the sky.

THE TAKING OF A LIFE

2010-08-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

I know about a situation that is really sad. There is a man who will be removed off of life support once all of his family has said good-bye.

This man was the victim of a crime. He was attacked by someone because he was driving too slow. The individual who is responsible for the attack has taken a life.

I find it difficult for me to wrap my head around. Who beats someone up for driving too slow? That's a sign of a person with a sick mind. Someone who is not rational decided to express their displeasure by beating up another person. A complete stranger that had done something annoying.

This situation is sad. I feel for the victim's family. They are going to loose someone that they love. The pain of those blows that were thrown have multiplied. They are now striking every person close to the victim.

Thank God someone saw the attacker. He has not been caught yet. When he is apprehended he'll be charged with murder. His moment of anger is going to cost him his freedom. Those blows will strike his family too.

The pain and sorrow is going to shroud over so many others. People who had nothing to do with that moment will become victims too.

Will people ever learn?

Dear God,

I come before you this evening with a heavy heart. There are times when the unjust actions of mankind make no sense. They only cause pain and sorrow to be spread out in way that they do not realize.

Please bless those who are hurting from someones thoughtless actions. Bless them to see past the pain and the sorrow of the moment. Hold them close your heart and fill them with your comforting peace.

Bless the individual who caused this moment of sorrow for their actions. Touch their hard heart and move them to a point of realization that they need.

This act of cruelty has reached beyond the two individuals that were involved. It is now hurting those who are aware of what happened. It is going to hurt others when the truth is revealed.

Bless the child who has to face his father's death. Be merciful and cradle him in your arms. Help him to accept the things that he cannot change.

Bless the wife who is losing her spouse. Bless her to know that she is not alone. Help her to reach a point of acceptance and peace.

In Jesus name

Amen

MONDAY, MONDAY!

2010-08-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

What shade of blue colored my mood this morning? Is this a hue that can be found inside of the Crayola Box? Or is it an exclusive shade taliored exclusively for me?

I don't know but whatever that tone was keyed to play inside of my head, never had the opportunity to fully emerge. I cut it off before it was able to rise to the surface.

Today was my time to register for classes. It is almost time for the semester to begin. I decided to carry a full load during the fall semester. There is nothing like taking a plunge of faith to start off the second half of the year.

I also took a nice long walk today. My body was screaming for some stretch out time. It is time to burn off some of the calories that have been added on due to stress.

I hope and pray that if I am blessed to wake up in the morning that my attitude will be much better.

CHILLING OUT

2010-08-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I still like to play late night DJ. I think that if I could work on the radio it would definitely be late night.

Summer Madness...Kool and the Gang..

"This Is All I Really Know" Patrice Rushen...there's nothing like giving some praise for what's good about life...

THOUGHTS AT THE END OF THE DAY

2010-08-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

There was a moment during my day when I found myself really missing my dad's presence. It caught me by surprise. A wave of sadness washed over my thoughts for just a moment. I started to pray immediately for a sense of peace to replace that sensation of pain.

I was working at the Food Pantry when the moment opened up inside of my thoughts. I cannot remember what was going on when he ran across my mind. I just know that while he was on my mind tears started to well up in my eyes.

Before any of those tears spilled onto my face a sense of calmness flooded my thoughts. I took a deep breath and the sadness lost the power to hurt. Which I honestly appreciate because I know in my heart of hearts that my dad is at peace. He wanted it that way.

I'm sure there are going to be other days like this. When the sense of loss suddenly opens up and tries to weigh me down. I just hope and pray that I can remember that my dad is still very much alive and so is his love for me. It's been scripted on the pages of my heart. He placed that feeling there so when this time arrived, I would remember that aspect of his life.

Dear God,

I give thanks on this evening for the blessings you have graciously bestowed on me and my loved ones.

I thank you for the peace that you sent forth to comfort me.
I also give thanks for the blessing of being able to feel the love that still remains very alive.

I know that there are people who are mourning the loss of those that they love. Please bless them to feel the embrace of your loving peace all around them. Let them know that in their hour of pain that you are right there with them.

Thank you for the gift of my parents. I appreciate all that they have done for me. I hope and pray that I have been a good parent to my own children. Bless me to be a good grandparent to my little ones. Give me the wisdom to guide and direct them. Ample love and joy to share with them during our time together.

In your word we are charged to pray for the leaders of all nations. This world is in such a disruptive state. We are at odds with each other for reasons that make no sense. There are extremist on all sides who believe that they know what is on your mind. It always seems that their ideas are in conflict with others.

We are your creation. We are people fashioned in your image. Yet, we only seem to be able to look at each other without this recognition. Open our eyes so we can see each other in a reasonable and kind manner. Open our ears so we can hear each other without the sound of dissent being louder than than the voice of reason.

Help us to learn how to respect each other. Even when we do not agree with one another. Help us to evolve to a higher plane of thought about what we should be doing with our lives.

Bless us to be secure and safe as we rest tonight. Watch over us and our neighbors. Bless us to be renewed within our bodies and our spirits.

In Jesus name, I pray
Amen

THOUGHTS AT THE END OF THE DAY

2010-08-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

It is the end of the week. I am thankful for the blessings that have flowed into my life. As well as for the situations that have been moved away from me as well.

This has been a long hot week. Which has been a major drain on my personal energy. I have been accomplishing a lot of different tasks. Which is great because my list is slowly shrinking. This heat has also slowed my pace.

However, I have also done a lot of showering and napping in between. Which is okay because our bodies know what is needed to restore that sense of balance and comfort that we all need.

Right now, I am taking a break from working a research paper. I am going to do about one more hour tonight and wrap it up. I have to go to work in the morning. I am thankful for this particular job. It provides me with pocket money for those little incidentals in life. I expect that we will be busy tomorrow due to the fact that it is the middle of the month. Which is cool with me because it helps the time to move.

We have two members of our family who are ill. One is in serious condition and I hope and pray that he will be blessed to recover.

I am going to go check on my plot tomorrow before it gets to be too hot. I hope that when I get off from work that it will still be tolerable outside. The humidity has been so thick here! Ugh! I hate this type of hot weather. It just makes me sticky and irritable.

Dear God,

I give thanks to you on this day for all the blessings that have been sent to me and my loved ones. Thanks for the guidance that you have provided to me on this day. I appreciate being able to accomplish the tasks that needed my attention.

Thank you for the gift of life, love and good people in my life. Thank you for the earth angels that you directed to assist me this week. Bless those who extended out different acts of kindness towards me and my loved ones.

Please bless us to be accepting of your will in our lives. Help us through these difficult moments. Bless our loved ones to know that you are their attending physician. Touch their bodies and provide them with all manners of healing.

As we rest through the night please watch over us and protect us. Please keep our neighbors and friends safe also.

Please bless those who are out and about tonight. Keep them from all manners of danger and harm. Let no evil come to them or through them. Bless them with the shield of your protection.

In Jesus name I pray
Amen

A NATURAL SHOW WORTH VIEWING!

2010-08-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

There are times when Nature puts on a show. The annual Perseid meteor shower is already putting on an excellent show, and the celestial fireworks have yet to peak. The main event is tonight. Meanwhile, a delightfully tight configuration of planets graces the evening sky.

Rarely has there been a better time to go out, look up and enjoy easy-to-watch cosmic spectacles.

Across the Northern Hemisphere, the best time to watch the Perseid meteor shower will be tonight through the pre-dawn hours local time Friday, regardless of where you live. Weather permitting, patient skywatchers could see a shooting star every minute or so. (source)

I'm seriously thinking that this is going to be worth getting up early to view. I've seen a shower before and it was breathtaking. I just happened to walk over to my bedroom window to look outside. The sight was beautiful!